“Devil Dog-Hound of Hell” or “Tony and Tia get a Puppy”

Ok I have never heard of this movie until about a week ago. It is called “”Devil Dog-Hound of Hell”, it was made in 1978 and stars Tony and Tia from “Escape from Witch Mountain” (When I was a kid they were my fucking heroes), their dad is Col. Trautman from Rambo. I saw the trailer and was like WTF (What the Fuck). Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6Z7npPIb10&feature=related

Ok so here is the story these satan worshippers go buy a bitch (female dog), then get the dog laid by Satan, then it births a bunch of devil dogs. Then we cut to Col. Trautman’s house (he aint a Col. in this movie though), and he and his white family own a dog but it gets hit by a car. Then his kids Tony and Tia are sad, but thank Satan, a truck pulls up with the devil dog puppies in the back and the driver gives the kids one. This demon puppy is no good he is out for blood. Then in a rare character twist Col. Trautman’s maid shows up and she is SPANISH AND RELIGIOUS. I was shocked- NOT. I mean fuck, I am a Quarter Puerter (Puerto Rican idiot), and if a white family asked me to be their maid I would say “HELLL NOOO”, just like Oprah did in “The Color Purple”. So the writer was racist, that is my point. I want to see a spanish family fight devil dogs, and their maid is a white bitch (not a dog, a mean woman). I guess I better watch the George Lopez show. Ok so anyway the maid senses the dog is evil, and as everyone knows Spanish and Native American people in horror films are always sensing something. White people are too into themselves to pay attention to anything but their pale asses. Sorry Honkeys!!! haha So later Tony and Tia and their mom get possessed by the dog and start becoming assholes to their dad Col. Trautman. So he goes to some old man on a mountain who, you guessed it, is a Spanishy/Native Americany dude. He knows about satan shit and devil dogs. So he gives Col. Trautman the strength (some drawing on his hand with paint) to face that pissed off pooch. The Devil dog attacks him but now has a big hair do, horns, glowing eyes and is pissed and probably horny. Will Col. Trautman be able to save Tony and Tia and his dumb wife? maybe!
So it was just ok and although I love Tony and Tia, I will not be buying this one. It is kinda of PG too, I found out it was made for TV, so if you wanna scare the kiddies (like 5 year olds) then rent this jam.

Trailer:

THE FACTS:
A. Puppies are not that cute, give me a break. I wouldn’t mind a Devil Dog though.

B. Tony and Tia should have had their powers from Escape from Witch Mountain in this and fought the Devil Dog.

C. If you are a spanish you will probably get cast as a fuckin maid. She should have burned their house down.

D. I guess all Native American are in contact with the spirit world 24/7. Watch “Poltergeist 2″ and “Predator” as proof.

E. Hollywood is racist.

F. If your kids get possessed and talk back to you, then slap the shit out of them. It is ok they are possessed and will not remember later.

G. I wish I had an army of Devil Dogs.

H. The Devil Dog should have talked in this film, I mean fuck why not, but voiced by Raven Symone.

I. Come to think about it the Devil Dog never bit one mother fucker in this entire film. LAME

J. If I had made this movie, the spanish maid would have joined the devil dog to kill the white family, then take over the world.

2 responses to ““Devil Dog-Hound of Hell” or “Tony and Tia get a Puppy”

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