“Piranha 3D” or “Piranha like Tits-n-ASS”- My fuckin review

Got to see “Piranha 3D” today.

Is there a plot? No.

Is the character development? No.

Is there exploitation of women? Yes.

Is this the feel good movie of the summer? YESSSSSS

This film is what it is, and it is proud of it. I mean shit, it’s about Piranha eating the shit out of people, and I loved it. If I would have gotten a phone call that said “Hey Eddie, I am making a Piranha movie in 3D do you want to be in it?” I would have said “Hell yes, do I get to booty shake on a boat before I die”. This movie is crazy, over the top and fun. It is all about the boobs and blood, a shit load of boobs and blood. There is even this amazing scene where 2 girls are swimming underneath the water together nude while the song “Flower Duet” from the Opera “Lakme” is playing. Incredible! The cast is made of Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, and Jerry O’Connell and some other people you will not know.  I feel like if you are going to make a movie about spring break and people getting eaten by Piranha, then fucking do it. Don’t be a wimp about it, show those boobs and show legs getting torn off by pissed off fish. This movie does that and more. There is a huge mass chaos scene where all these people are getting torn apart and I was so happy. A girl’s hair even gets caught up in a boat propeller. AMAZING. So if you wanna laugh and see Tits-n-ass, peckers getting bit off, and blood shooting out at you in 3D. Then go see Piranha 3D, if you are a wimp go see “Eat, Pray, Shit” with Julia Douche Bag.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. This film is what I call a “Roller Coaster Film”, when you ride a roller coaster do you get off and analyze the wood? No. You just ride the ride, and laugh.

B. I pray I go to spring break and this happens to me.

C. At one point in the film Elisabeth Shue is screaming “Get the fuck out of the water”. haha I love that line.

D. At one point more nosey white people go explore an underwater cave.

E. I mean seriously you can’t fight off fish with teeth. You are fucked.

F. 3D boobs.

G. 3D dick.

H. I just kept thinking how bad I wanted to be an extra in this film.

I. If I was a girl I would take my top off and shake em bitch. If I was a girl I would be HO.

J. Eli Roth (Director of “Hostel” and “Cabin Fever“) shows up in this film as well. WTF He shows up everywhere now.


K. You know the most amazing part about this film. There was no sex scene. All that nudity, gore and violence, but not one sex scene. I love that.

L. It is my goal in life to be in a “mass chaos” scene in a film. I don’t care what the film, as long as I can run and scream toward the camera with 50 other people.


M. Seriously just go ride the ride. Don’t go in looking for a story you will not find one, just laugh and have fun. My friend Sonji was sitting behind me in the theatre and during a Piranha attack in the movie,  I reached back and grabbed her feet Piranha style. She screamed. haha

N. My only problem with the film is that the Piranha didn’t talk. I would have had them talk.

O. I love pissed off animal films like “Kingdom of the Spiders“, “Jaws“, “Alligator”, “Ants”, etc.

P. I love both these posters for it.

One response to ““Piranha 3D” or “Piranha like Tits-n-ASS”- My fuckin review

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