“Vampire Boys” or “Gay Vampire Boys”- my fuckin review

Let it be known that Nicholas M. told me to watch “Vampire Boys“. I had never heard of it until then. Ok the story starts off with this group of vampire dudes who are gay and shirtless. Like all gay men they want to live in L.A., so they move there. There is also this other gay dude named Caleb, who is just a gay human not a gay vampire, who has also moved to L.A. from Ohio. He moves in with this other gay guy named Paul, and Paul is sweet on him. The next day they go to College and run into the group of vampire dudes who are gay, I think even the vampires go to the College also. Gay vampires can walk around out the sun because they want sun tans and they don’t want to look pale. That night Caleb has dreams about the gay vampires and has wet dreams about the lead vampire whose name is Jasin (yes I spelled it right). Now Jasin and Caleb start dating, but I think Jasin is bisexual. Jasin convinces Caleb to put out and they have sex (They do not show it, just kissing with no shirts on). Later the gay vampires attack these 2 straight dudes and a girl, who they found engaging in a 3-way. They show both these dudes peckers, but they are limp. In the end Jasin turns Caleb into a vampire and they make out and live forever in gay love. HAHA This movie is boring and bootleg. I am fine with gay vampires but give me a plot or a story or a hand job or something. Personally I think all vampires are bisexually cuz they hungry and will eat both sexes. Also it was weird they showed to random guys dingys. I would have rather seen a movie about bisexual vampires gang banging. They would be cooler. Well if you like gay shirtless guys walking around with sharp teeth and no plot then this movie and Blake’s by Piedmont Park is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Here are the gay vampires laying out in the sun.

B. Gay vampires should have capes.

C. The acting was wooden, like your dick.

D. The score was terrible.

E. Their hair was poofy.

F. Here is a video on how to get abs like the Vampire Boys.

G. The main vampire JASIN says he is straight in real life. Straight to the gay bar!

H. I am glad that these vampires didn’t dress goth and go to clubs.

I. Here is the gay dude from Ohio about to be once bitten.

J. Here are the vampires trying to rape the director.

K. I wish Tom Cruise had been the lead gay vampire.

L. I also wish Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were in this from Glee, and they were singing, banging, and eating people.

M. This movie needed RuPaul playing Queen Akasha from the shitty movie “Queen of the Damned“.

N. I hope they make a sequel called “Vampire Boys 2 : Bite My Tight Ass”.

O. Here is the poster for your computer wallpaper.

4 responses to ““Vampire Boys” or “Gay Vampire Boys”- my fuckin review

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