“Star Trek Into Darkness” or “Spock Gets Pissed Off At Chaka Khan” my fuckin review.

Here is my review for “Star Trek Into Darkness“. Let me first start off by saying I like J.J. Abrams as a Director and I love watching all the “Star Trek” shit, old and new. Okay so this time Kirk (Chris Pine) and the gang are saving a planet that has red trees on it, and the Enterprise is parked underneath the water. Later Chaka Khan is on the loose and she is a pissed off terrorist that is blowing shit up, killing people and singing 80′s hits. She fuckin blew England up. Then Kirk and the gang have to go find her and whip her ass silly. Along the way Scotty (Simon Pegg) makes jokes, Spock (Zachary Quinto) and Uhura (Zoe Saldana) are in love still, Chekov (Anton Yelchin) and Sula (John Cho) don’t do too much, Bones (Karl Urban) is a Doctor not a Insert occupation here, Carol Marcus (Alice Eve) gets naked, and Robo-Cop (Peter Weller) is a Captain in Starfleet now. Oh and the Enterprise gets fucked up the port nacelle without lube and Spock is pissed the fuck off. Okay so I dug this movie, and I love the original “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” also. Even though these are different films on different timelines and shit. I love all the characters and the actors that play them, and they make the world they live in believable. Yeah, there are some Sci-Fi logic plot holes, but honestly it’s Science Fiction (“Fiction” being the key word). Let’s be honest, none of this shit doesn’t really make sense from any of these Star Trek movies. I just ride the ride and watch out for 3D lasers and shit. Benedict Cumberbatch was a good Khan, different, but good. I mean shit the old Khan character wouldn’t make sense in 2013. He looked like he was in old man rock band back in the 1980′s. I mean shit don’t get me wrong he was cool as fuck, but audiences today would be like “Whattttttttt?” I also love how Kirk and Spock would do anything for each other on any timeline. BFF’s! It really is a fun movie to watch in IMAX 3D. If you go in and over think it, you will hate it. Just submit to the craziness of space and time and shit. I just want the action, the space, the lasers, and the interesting dialogue and I’m tight. I don’t give a fuck if the Enterprise can really go underwater or not. It looked cool even if does not make sense. So if you love Star Trek, Kirk, Spock, lasers, Khan, space battles, fist battles, Klingons, emotion, and a fun ride then this is the movie for you. I dug it and I will see it again and buy that shit when it drops. WARNING: CHAKA KHAN is not in this movie. That is a joke bitch.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Kirk and his boyfriend chillin on the lower decks of the Enterprise.

Chris Pine Surrender Dorothy

B. Klingons show up in this movie for a hand job.

C. Spock and Uhura- Intergalactic love birds.

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D. I can’t wait until the Enterprise transforms into a robot.

E. They should have played this song in the end credit.

F. Carol Marcus half-naked and horrified.

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G. The bridge of the Enterprise looks like it was designed by APPLE.

H. Peter Weller had the best line in the movie “Wellll Shit”.

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I. I love that on one timeline Kirk would do anything for his best friend Spock and on another timeline Spock would do anything for Kirk.

J. Here are all the Khans.

Old Khan (Ricardo Montalban)

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New Khan (Benedict Cumberbatch)

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Chaka Khan (haka Khan)

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K. I wish I was in this movie so there would be more cursing in space. If I was Captain of that shit (ship) and I was being attacked. It would be one long “FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”.

L. Where in the fuck was Kirstie Alley!

M. Gurrllllll get off my port nacelle!

N. This should have been the poster.

star-trek-into-darkness-poster-benedict-cumberbatch copy

3 responses to ““Star Trek Into Darkness” or “Spock Gets Pissed Off At Chaka Khan” my fuckin review.

  1. Pingback: The Best Summer Movies of 2013 | EDDIE RAY BREAKS THAT SHIT DOWN!

  2. Pingback: My Top Ten Movies Of 2013 You Bitch! | EDDIE RAY BREAKS THAT SHIT DOWN!

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