“Alice in Wonderland” or “Johnny Depp in Wonderturd”- My fuckin review

I just back from watching “Alice in Wonderland“, Ok I am over it.. Tim Burton if you want Johnny Depp to give you a blow job, just ask him, I am sure he will. I’m tired of Johnny Depp playing the same fucking roles! We get it you are kooky and like to wear top hats. Tim Burton used to be the shit when he was coming up with his own jams, now it is one “So what, who cares” after another. Is the movie bad? Is the movie good? So what, who cares. I did like the talking CGI cat, and Crispin Glover and Anne Hathaway were fun it, but I can tell you what wonderland aint got…. It ain’t got no black folks. I realized this, when I didn’t get what was going on. Then I was like I am lost cuz there aren’t any black folks in it. A world without black folks!!! COUNT MY ASS OUT BITCH! In fact everyone in the god damn movie was so white, they looked sickly. Everyone in wonderland has tuberculosis they are so white. Anyway I am over you Johnny Depp, his part should have been played by Scott ‘Carrot Top’ Thompson, and the CGI cat should have been voiced by Keith David (look him up if you don’t know who great actors are  you assholes). So if you want to see 3D Johnny Depp acting weird and over the top again, then take your lube and condoms and get to the theatre this movie is for you and Tim Burton. This movie is forgettable and a mess.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. White people are even more white in this movie.

B. Tim Burton said black folks aren’t even good enough to be on the Alice bus at all. RACIST.

C. Crispin Glover is weird, but cool.

D. Johnn Depp’s best role was in A Nightmare on Elm Street.

E. Tim Burton wants to blow Johnny Depp while wearing a top hat.

F. Avril Lavigne had a song in the end credits. GROSS.

G. I kept saying “Off with their Pants” instead of “Off with their heads”.

H. Alice shrank a lot, but was never nude. Her clothes always fit like the “The Incredible Hulk”.

I. So what who cares.

J. Honestly Carrot Top should have played the Mad Hatter.

K. Johnny stop playing the same roles.

L. I like Anne.

M. I call Helena Bonham Carter “Helena I’ll Bottom Carter”.

N. Pee-wee’s Big AdventureBeetle JuiceBatmanEdward ScissorhandsBatman ReturnsMars Attacks!Sleepy Hollow, and Big Fish were awesome. Tim come up with your own shit again.


N. The Poster sucks.

One response to ““Alice in Wonderland” or “Johnny Depp in Wonderturd”- My fuckin review

  1. yeah i’m sick of johnny depp too.there maybe a deeper evil.tim burton is scared of black people.im gona do some research

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