“AVATAR” or “Blue Boobs But No Blue Penis”- My fucking Review

CNN has reported that James Cameron’s movie AVATAR causes people to go into a downward spiral (like that Nine Inch Nails album). Here’s the real scoop and my movie review for “Avatar“.
At midnight before the Friday release, I went with a friend to see AVATAR. I loved it; I am not going to lie to you. Yeah – the dialog is a little weak here and there, but have you had a conversation with some of your friends lately? Your dialogue is weak too.
I took my seat and rode the ride, getting involved with those skinny ass smurfs and digging it completely. When the movie was over, my friend Matt G. and I looked at one another and agreed that our planet looked like black and white ass, compared to the world of Avatar. So yeah we felt depressed. No, not the suicidal type of depressed, just ugh!-this-world-needs-a-paint-job-depressed. As for my interpretation of the suicide thing, I see it like this: you go in with 3D glasses, which is like becoming your own avatar inside the world James Cameron created. By the end, you must take your 3D glasses off, which means no more blue man group skin. You might be all like, “Wait…I want my fuckin 3D glasses back! I wanna be blue again with a fucked up pervy tail!” To which the theatre replies “Another fifteen bucks bitch.” UGH! That is real depression!
So if you see AVATAR, know that you may experience sadness or the blues (get it the blues, oh fuck you too) by the end. And need an upper (is that still a drug). And longing for the color blue and quasi-Jamaican accents. But if you begin to have suicidal thoughts, there is help at your nearest therapist. Don’t blame James Cameron for those issues. Blame him for wanting to paint everything neon green and for growing an interest in loincloths and archery. So yeah I would make out with a blue alien, trust me I have made out with worse. hahaha

PS. When hologram rooms finally drop, and you’re able to hang with Hologram Elvis and Hologram Neil Carter, that’s when you might start finding the nearest cliff.

Trailer:

Facts:
A.. Dont be racist, blue people can be hot. Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana were both hot as blue skinny smurfs.

B. I keep singing “get outta my avatar, and get into my car”

C. Tails don’t need condoms.

D. James Cameron IS MAGIC.

E. I want to ride a fuckin red Dragon to work named “Captain Crunch Nutz”.

F. Neon Green is my favorite color, and this movie is full of neon colors.

G. I love composer James Horner. Listen to one of the amazing tracks here.

H. Don’t be mad cuz this movie will make a shit load. Here is the CNN article.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/11/avatar.movie.blues/index.html

I. I need to see the rated X version with blue boobies. Here is a Halloween costume you can wear. Sexy Avatar.

J. Don’t hate because something is popular. Judge the movie as if nobody has seen it before. Don’t be a movie dick head.

K. I am into this poster.

4 thoughts on ““AVATAR” or “Blue Boobs But No Blue Penis”- My fucking Review

  1. Avatar looked great, but the story was the most cliche piece of crap I’ve had to sit through for 8 fucking hours or however long it actually was. I enjoyed that shit the first time when the ewoks kicked the Empire’s ass. Quit writing your plots Cameron and just make up cool technology to film shit for more talented fucks to use.

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