“Jennifer’s Body” or “Jennifer Doesn’t Show Her Body”- My fuckin review

I just watched “Jennifer’s Body” the other night, and it rated R. So yay. There is blood and guts and shit (stuff). There are some memorable parts in this movie, but here is my thing. The movie is called JENNIFER’S BODY and you never see it. Do I really want to see Megan Fox’s T+A? Sure why not, take em out. The problem is they never show the goods. I mean she is a demon chick trick and she is seducing dudes to kill them and she doesn’t take her clothes off. Give me a break. Also she is luring dudes in and even lights candles and shit, but never sleeps with them. WHAT THE FUCK! If I am Demon HO first of all I am going to walk around naked and I am going to sleep with everyone and then eat them. Not sound sexy with candles and short shorts and teasing and shit. She needed to be breaking everyone off in that film, then eating their heads off. However they did cuss a lot, and they played the song “Violet” by “Hole” (side note: there is also a song called “Jennifer’s body” on the same HOLE album that “Violet” is on). Also fuck you Diablo Cody for all your bull shit dialogue you think is so fucking witty and cute.
Fuck you!
Fuck Jennifer’s body that we never see.
The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. A movie that claims to show boobs and such, better show boobs and such.

B. If you are a demon, then yo ass don’t have morality issues, which means you sleep with everyone, including stuffed animals, sofas, animals, humans etc. YOU WORK FOR THE DEVIL for christs sake grow a pair of boobs.

C. If I made this film it would have been called “JENNIFER BOOBS” and she would have been topless the whole movie eating people.

D. Play more HOLE. Here is my favorite jam they do.

E. Diablo Cody you aren’t hip, neither is your hair.

F. Why seduce humans for 30 minutes if you are just going to eat them, just fucking eat them.

G. If I looked like Megan Fox, I would be naked writing this right now and I would have “Sexted” all of you.

H. Ok Amanda Seyfried is cool.

I. Johnny Simmons and Adam Brody should have made out while Jennifer watched.

J. Thank you to Hugh White for letting me borrow this cut.. HAHA

One response to ““Jennifer’s Body” or “Jennifer Doesn’t Show Her Body”- My fuckin review

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