“Clash of the Titans” or “Clash of the Titties”-My fuckin review

Ok I watched “Clash of the Titans” and I liked it, it was a fun ride. I view some movies as”Roller Coaster Films”, which means when you ride a roller coaster, you ride it to have fun not to analyze the wood on the left turn. So yeah, is there a story? Well basically there are a shit load of gods, and they rape humans a lot. So Perseus‘s dad is Zeus, because he raped his momma. Which makes Perseus a DEMI-GOD (I love that word), but I feel like if you are going to have a demigod in your movie it better be played by Demi Moore. Also the god Poseidon raped Medusa. Anyway Hades shows up wearing black and says humans are assholes. TRUE. I did like Hades a lot, and the dude soldiers that Perseus got hooked up with. The humans in the city look poor and are scared cuz they know that  the Kraken is going to break them all off. It’s up to Perseus to save the day, but he doesn’t like the fact he is a Greek Bisexual (half man-Straight / half god-Gay). He hates the god half, you figure it out. There were flying ponies, big ass scorpions, hot fucked up looking nomady people, sexy witches, and the Kraken popped off at the end. I felt like i was entertained the whole time, and had fun watching it. So if you like half naked greek people and are looking for a good time call Clash of the Titans. I will not buy it, but it was fun to watch.

The Trailer:

THE FACTS:

A. Every time they said Hades I sang that Beastie Boys song that starts off “Hey ladies, Get funky” but changed it to “Hey Hades, Get funky”

B. Gods rape a lot of chicks.

C. Demigods should be played by Demi Moore.

D. I will ride a flying pony.

E. See this movie in 2D, the 3D was distracting, it is not like “Avatar“, Avatar was shot for 3D. This film was a last minute up convert to 3D.

F. If you are looking to see Sam Worthington ass in 3D you are not going to, his skirt was glued down.

G. Sam Worthington is forever playing characters that are made of 2 different beings. Terminator Salvation half man / half robot, Avatar- Half man/ half alien, and Clash of Titans- half man/ half god.

H. This film is a remake, I don’t hate remakes. The old one from the 80’s is still good, and this new one is still fun. Everyone needs to just deal, the reason why Hollywood films remakes, is because audiences keep paying to go see them. So don’t hate Hollywood hate yourself bitch.

I. Michelle Pfeiffer should have played Medusa.

J. The 3 witches should have been those 3 bitches from Hocus Pocus.

K. If I am a half god, I am using my fucking powers, don’t be trippin, break everyone off in that movie.

4 responses to ““Clash of the Titans” or “Clash of the Titties”-My fuckin review

  1. God, Eddie…your reviews are priceless. My favorite comment…”so don’t hate Hollywood, hate yourself bitch.” Thank you for that dose of reality…gonna see the movie tonight.

  2. Are there titties? Because you can’t call a movie “Clash of the Titties” without there being titties. Just saying.

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