“Dear Zachary: A Letter to a son about his father” aka “Crazy white bitches get to kill people and not go to jail for it”- My fuckin review.

Ok I rented “Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father” over the weekend, and some friends of mine told me to rent it and all they would say was “If you watch this movie you will be on the floor crying like a baby and hugging a pillow, there is no way to watch this movie and not want to kill yourself from the tears after watching it”. So obviously I wanted to watch ASAP, I was like “I can’t wait to go into an emotional coma”. Truth be known I have cried in several movies (“Watership Down”, “The Color Purple”, “Big Fish”, “Beaches”, “Glory” and YES “Spiderman 3”). So all week I was excited about crying and pulling my fuckin hair out from this film. OK I watched it and yes it was fuckin sad, but it made me more angry than sad. The film is a documentary about this dude everyone loved named Andrew, and he meets some crazy bitch named Shirley. Andrew breaks up with with Shirley and then she murders him. Now that is just the beginning. The crazy bitch that killed Andrew gets away with it (the legal system is screwy on earth). Andrew’s parents want revenge and hate her and want her to go to jail. The craziness continues because her ass is pregnant with Andrew’s baby Zachary. Now I will not say anything else about the plot of the film but there is a lot I am leaving out, it gets more fucked up. The cool thing about the film is that It was made by Andrew’s best friend who is a film maker, and he wanted to make a documentary for Andrews’s son Zachary (ya know so when he grows up he would know the truth about his crazy bitch mom who killed his dad and to show all the people who loved his dad). The movie is sad, and one tear did fall out of my eye when Andrew’s cousin was crying and talking about missing him. I was angrier about how crazy ass tricks can kill people and still go to the shopping mall and buy a pretzel with cheese. If you want to see a movie that will make normal people go COO COO bananas from crying then check this documentary out. I can relate to this movie because I would definitely make a film about my dead best friend., but with a better soundtrack.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A.   If you are in your 20’s and marry some crazy chick named Shirley, who is in her 40’s and she calls you 30 times a day. IT WON’T WORK OUT!! I PROMISE YOU!

B.    DON’T MEET CRAZY PEOPLE IN A PARK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!

C.   If I die and someone makes a documentary about me, they had better play the most depressing music ever made. I want everyone crying.

D.   If your son gets married to a crazy ass ho, then go run her over with your car for him, he may hate you but he would still be alive.

E.    If you are normal and watch this film, then bring tissues, you will probably puke, fart, or cry.

F.    Dating is fuckin scary as HELLLLL!

G.   If you are single than be afraid. Be very afraid.

H.   Stop laughing about me crying during “Beaches” and
“Spiderman 3”. When best friends or brothers die I get sad fuck you!!!!!

I.    A friend that shall go nameless cried in the movie “Armageddon” that starred Bruce Willis. SO LAY OFF ME. Fuckin Armageddon!!

J.  If documentaries have a score/soundtrack and fancy editing how real can they really be. My life don’t have a score or nice editing. Shit watch some of my short “real life” short films. Everything sounds better with “Justin Bieber” added into the background. Here is my point watch.

k. I cried when I saw your moms face…… ooooooooo

3 thoughts on ““Dear Zachary: A Letter to a son about his father” aka “Crazy white bitches get to kill people and not go to jail for it”- My fuckin review.

  1. It pissed me off, too! I don’t think I cried, I just got more and more frustrated / confused. I wouldn’t be surprised if it inspired someone to take that crazy bitch out.

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