“The Carriers” or “Captain Kirk gets Herpes”- my fuckin review

OK I rented the movie “The Carriers” and gave it a spin. Basically it involves the new Captain Kirk, his brother and 2 chicks driving across a post apocalyptic country. The apocalypse has already jumped off , which ended up being some super herpes that killed everyone and is transmitted by blood and breathing on someone and shit. So Captain Kirk and his posse are trying to get from point A to point B (which is the beach, I like the beach too). Along the way they try to stay alive and fight off people with the super herpes and learn lessons about how to stay alive, basically don’t date or sleep with anyone infected. Sounds good to me. If a super herpes post apocalyptic nightmare happens and you even look at me funny I will blow your head off. I don’t want your super herpes, sorry you got-sta-go! At one point in the film they run into a dad and daughter, and the daughter has got super herpes, but they feel bad and take them along on the road trip. They tape up some plastic in the back of the SUV for them. FUCK THAT! I am sorry your little girl got the super herpes, that’s a bitch, but you can’t ride with me to the beach. I would have probably ran them over when I drove away too. Ok so anyway I did like this movie, because it’s not flashy or over the top, it’s the basics. It is about to 2 brothers and I tend to like stories about 2 brothers. Once again, I also really love apocalyptic tales, somehow it seems right when I watch films like this. At least the world is quiet then. So check it out, it’s not real scary or anything but an interesting watch. If you want a quiet feel good movie this is it, except for the death, infected people, cheap scares and sad parts.

Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The new Captain Kirk is pretty convincing as an actor.

B. I will leave you on the corner like a prostitute if even fucking sniffle around me in an disease apocalypse.

C. You do not want super herpes.

D. Leave your emotion at the door, I will run you and your daughter over if you are bleeding out the fuckin face.

E. For some reason in horror films, when a human gets infected or bitten by a zombie they want to keep that shit a secret, then it screws everyone else over. If you are hanging with me in this scenario I will do a body check every hour with a gun pointed at your face from 10 feet away. If you don’t like me rules, you know where the curb is bitch.

F. If there is a super herpes running around, don’t fuck anyone. ANYONE!

G. I feel like the apocalypse is just earths way of taking a crap.

H. Raven Symone should have been in this movie shooting infected people.

I. I actually felt at peace watching this film, bring it on.

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