I watched a horror movie called “Amusement” last night. It stars some crazy ass dude, and 3 dumb ass chicks. Ok so the movie starts off with this shittty ass couple on the highway, the driver is male and likes to speed. Do girls not drive fast? They end up in something called a “Highway Convoy”, which means you get behind some other driver and stay close to them, while someone gets behind you and follows you, In like a car 3 way. I have never heard of this shit before, is this real? I ain’t getting in no fucking highway convoy. So now because they are a part of this highway convoy, they get off when the lead car gets off for gas. Remember that none of them know each other. Now all three cars are getting gas and saying “what’s up”. But oh no the lead driver has some girl in the back of his shitty big rig, and she is bloody or some shit. The only one to see this bloody bitch, is the girl from the shitty ass couple. At this point the trucker tells the dude from the shitty ass couple that there is alot of traffic back on the highway now, and they should follow him on the back roads. HAHAHA what in the fuck. Now the shitty ass couple is following the trucker and some nerdy guy is following them. The girl finally tells her boyfriend there is a girl in the truck in front of them, as they are deep down some dark roads. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Why are they following some dude they don’t know is some stupid ass convoy, and even after she sees some sketchy bloody trick in the back seat. Some crazy shit happens, which I don’t want to give away. Needless to say these white people do not make any sense to me. The movie ends up being 3 separate stories about 3 separate stupid chicks, that come together at the end. The second story involves a chick who is babysitting theses weird ass kids, and there is a room with a life-size clown doll in there. YES a human looking clown doll in the bedroom. Well you know where this is heading. There is even some strange creep at the door at one point and she opens the door to talk to him, even though you can’t even see his fucking face. COME TO MY HOUSE AND KNOCK ON MY BITCH ASS DOOR AND YOU AINT GETTIN IN. If I don’t know you, I do not answer the door. I am serious. I might even stand there with a bat until you walk away from door. More crazy spooky shit happens. Now we are at the last chicks tale, and she is trying to go investigate a missing girlfriend of hers in some big ass creepy insane asylum place in the middle of nowhere. She even sends her boyfriend in by himself first. Then he doesn’t come out so she sneaks in to find him. I will call the police, they have guns and back up and shit. What the fuck does this dumb ass chick got? High heels and boobs! That ain’t enough ladies, that ain’t enough. Don’t get me wrong all boyfriend had was a shitty jacket and shitty hair cut. That’s my point call the police, they really don’t mind. They want to lay the law down on someone’s ass. Later some secrets are revealed, some people are sewn up inside a mattress, and there is a crazy dude. The movie was shot well, but I can’t relate to any of the characters in this film. They are ding dongs and they needed to die. Also the killer or crazy dude was milking it too much, It’s like we get it you are crazy, you can make scary faces and laugh alot. You ain’t the joker bitch. Anyway if you are looking for some cheap scares, some plot twists, a big ass clown, and more dumb ass white people dying, then you should check this shit out. Otherwise rent Batman to get the same effect.
A. Are white people really that nosey and stupid about shit? YES! Sorry honkeys ya’ll really gotta wake up and smell the blood, it’s out there.
B. I will never be in highway convoy, that is the stupidest shit I have ever heard. I am serious what the fuck is wrong with people, I don’t care about the other drivers on the road, they can all go to hell. I just want to play my “Nightmare on Elm St part 4” score loudly with the doors locked and the windows up.
C. If you ever see something crazy you need to tell me immediately, so we can get the fuck out of there, don’t be dismissing shit.
D. If you see a life size clown doll sitting in a room, stab that bitch first before you even move on to the next room.
E. Don’t be friends with crazy people, that shit may seem cute now, but those assholes are only going to get crazier in life, and come back to fuck with you.
F. Guys, why is everything a fuckin race for you on the roads, slow your asses down. I promise there is no trophy waiting for you when get to McDonald’s in 10 minutes or less.
G. NEVER OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR TO ANYONE YOU DO NOT KNOW. I ain’t playing, home invasions are no joke dumb ass.
H. I am never babysitting. That shit is always dangerous, and trust me I will leave those kids behind if they are not my kids.
J. I feel like crazy is quiet not all laughy taffy and shit.
K. This crazy dude made this whole elaborate mousetrap type house, it was basically a big transforming house. They must be giving out free money to crazy people so they can build this shit. I just bought a door bell for my apartment and I could barely afford that shit, and I am not crazy and I have a job.