“Crazy Heart” or “Maggie Gyllenhaal Fucks Jeff Bridges”- my fuckin review

OK what the fuck is wrong with Hollywood. I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH DROOPY FACE Maggie Gyllenhaal FUCKING Jeff Bridges. Why in the hell does Hollywood think this is what people want to watch, old dudes having sex with young girls. Shit maybe I am wrong, maybe that is what people want to see. Well back to the movie “Crazy Heart“, basically Jeff Bridges is a washed up country singer who pees in milk jugs while on a boot leg ass tour. He meets Maggie G. and they knock boots. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSS on both their parts if you ask me. He is a drunk but not a bad guy, he just wants to have a hit album again. Colin Farrell shows up and is a big country star that Jeff Bridges helped teach back in the day, so Jeff doesn’t dig him anymore cuz Colin is famous and he is not. Later you realize it is hard to even look at Jeff Bridges because he is nasty and washed out. When did he get so fucked up looking in films, was it the “The Big Lebowski“, I feel like he has been playing this nasty washed up hippy for years now. Clean it up. Anyway the movie is entertaining, but slow and gross. If you get off on watching old dudes banging young chicks then rent this movie by yourself and watch it in your bedroom you nasty bitch.

The trailer:

The Facts:
A. I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH DROOPY FACE MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL FUCKING JEFF BRIDGES EVER AGAIN.

B. Colin Farrell is a country singer in this. Sorry I don’t buy it.

C. I hope Jeff Bridges doesn’t look like shit in the new TRON movie.

D. Jeff’s best role was in “Starman“.

E. Maggie Gyllenhaal looks like Droopy the Dog.

F. I hope I never have to pee in a milk jug.

G. If you are a drunk don’t have or babysit kids.

H. Just so you know drunks are not attractive or cute. People in AA look better.

I. They should have called it “Crazy Fart”.

4 responses to ““Crazy Heart” or “Maggie Gyllenhaal Fucks Jeff Bridges”- my fuckin review

  1. You seem to be unable to distinguish the acting from the actors, which is what a good acting job is supposed to do. In this case, it succeeded, and all you can do is call it crap. That speaks more to your shallowness than to their anything.

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