“House” (Hausu 1977) or “Sailormoon vs A Haunted House”- my fuckin review

Last night I had the pleasure of watching a movie called “House” (not the American horror movie). This one was made in 1977 in Japan. In a nut shell it is about a girl named Gorgeous who takes her girlfriends Fantasy, Prof, Kung-Fu, Sweet, Melody and Mac to her Aunts house for summer vacation. Her Aunt is a witch who lives in a haunted house. So the girls go there and have to fight this Aunt-witch in crazy ass ways. Basically Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts go fight Queen Beryl, and there is even a ghost/witch cat named Blanche. This movie is visually insane and I loved the fake painted backgrounds, the Kung-Fu scenes and the way that characters died. There is a scene where this one girl is fighting and then gets cut in half and her legs still keep whipping ass and taking names. So yeah this is the only movie I have understood all year. They also eat watermelon, and I love watermelon. There are dancing skeletons, Kung-fu, blood, talking severed heads, cats dancing, and silk scarfs blowing in the wind off chicks. What else can I say this movie is insane fun for you, or sane fun for me. If you want to see a visually insane and amazing film this is it. Do yourself a favor and rent this nutty ass shit.

The Trailer:

A scene from the movie

The Facts:

A. I love Sailor Moon outfits.

B. I love a team of girls with fucked up Spice Girl names.

C. I love Kung-Fu.

D. I wish I owned a dancing cat.

E. It was amazing to see a 1977 Japanese perception of a haunted house.

F. I wish I would have made this movie.

G. I wish I knew 7 Japanese girls to make a movie like this.

H. The poster design for this movie is incredible. I owned it before I had even seen the movie.

I. Don’t go stay with your aunt or that bitch will try to eat you.

J. A FUCKIN LAMP SHADE ATE SOMEONE.

K. A FUCKIN PIANO ATE SOMEONE.

L. I love fake ass painted sky backgrounds.

M. I want a skeleton, I don’t have one 😦

N. Having trouble getting off today? Then take a gander at the poster!!!!!

2 thoughts on ““House” (Hausu 1977) or “Sailormoon vs A Haunted House”- my fuckin review

  1. you forgot to mention that the severed head of one girl gnawed on the plump juicy ass of another—but then how could you fit all the awesome in one post? I’m going again Friday!

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