“Centurion” or “Don’t Fuck With Chicks in 117 A.D.” -my fucking review

You may or may not have heard of this movie, but I have been waiting on its release for a while now. The directors name is Neil Marshall and he has become one of my favorite directors over the years. Let’s talk about Neil for a minute. His second film is called “Dog Soldiers” and it’s about werewolves attacking a team of military dudes, RENT IT, IT IS AMAZING. His third film is called “The Descent” and is about a team of girls going into a cave and fighting cave creatures. RENT IT, IT IS AMAZING. His fourth film is called “DOOMSDAY” and it is about a team of people going into mad max style hell hole to find a cure to a disease. RENT IT, IT IS AMAZING. He clearly likes using teams of people in his stories, I love this as well. Neil’s films are super violent and either super scary or super action packed. Growing up his favorite director was John Carpenter, and that is also my favorite director. This is probably the main reason I enjoy  Neil’s films, they remind of a Carpenter flick sometimes. Not a ripoff, but rather an homage to Carpenter’s work. Ok so now that we have learned about Neil Marshall lets talk about “Centurion” his fifth film. I really enjoyed this movie a lot, and this is so not my type of movie. I could care less about this time frame or most period piece films for that matter. I am all about the future or horror, but that is my point. Neil took a time frame that I could give a shit less about and made it interesting, exciting, and fun. Here is what IMDB says about it “A splinter group of Roman soldiers fight for their lives behind enemy lines after their legion is decimated in a devastating guerrilla attack.” The movie is so much more than this just this. There are hot chicks who are in charge and fighting and cutting people’s heads off. There are hot dudes fighting and cutting people’s heads off. The best part about this film is that there aren’t good guys or bad guys, just people with two different points of views. Somehow you are cheering for both sides in this film. You really like both sides, and understand them too. The dialogue in this film makes sense to me, it’s smart and smart ass at the same time. The movie is also very gory and I LOVE ITTTTTTT! I say if you are going to do a horror movie, or a movie about Roman soldiers fucking shit up. THEN DO IT! Don’t be a fucking wimp about it. Show those heads getting cut in half and bodies flying in the air. Neil Marshall gives it to you every time. So if you want to see a smart, violent, gory, sexy, action packed movie, then “Centurion” is for you. Get it on Comcast On Demand now or wait til it hits theatre’s at the end of August. Don’t dismiss this movie as a “300” rip off or some shit. I will be buying this on Blu Ray and going to see it in the theatre August 27th.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I like snow in movies.

B. People pee 3 times in this movie. That’s a lot of peeing in a film, but in reality people piss.

C. The main warrior chick was like Shakira on crack. She-wolf style.

D. I love Neil Marshall’s casting.

E. It looks like they filmed it in Narnia.

F. I want to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow.

G. There are original and interesting plot developments in this film.

H. The characters names sound like diseases (Quintus Dias, Virilus, Etain, Macros, Bothos, Thax, etc.)

I. A character carved the first “My Little Pony” toy in this movie.

J. They describe a city as the “Asshole of the world”. I loved that.

K. I love tough, mean ass chicks in movies. Girls who don’t fuck around, and they will stab your ass and wear face paint. She is bad ass seeeeeeeee.

L. Here is a cool scene from movie.

M. Go see this movie when it drops, and rent his other amazing films. (“The Descent” and “Dog Soldiers” are on my top 20 greatest horror films of all times, lets put it that way)

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