“The Prowler” or “There a Toy Soldier After You Bitch”- my fuckin review

Ok I have never seen the movie “THE PROWLER” before, but I have wanted to for a while. It came out in 1981 and yes it is a horror movie. The killer wears World War II U.S. Army fatigues that makes him look like a giant plastic toy soldier, but it is still pretty creepy. The story is basically about this soldier dude who gets dumped while he is over seas, then he comes back and kills the girl who dropped his ass and her new boyfriend. Then cut to 35 years later and the college is having a spring dance, so it must be time for this toy soldier to activate. There is a lot of chasing and killing and such, but the actors in this film are boring and forgettable. The Prowler is scary and carries a pitch fork for some reason. The coolest part about this film is Tom Savini’s make up effects. Holy shit,  I have never seen people getting stabbed look so real before. I have seen a lot of horror movies in my life, especially ones where Tom Savini created the special effects makeup and this was some of the best I have ever seen. I even rewound a few death scenes to see the makeup effect again. Tom Savini does know his shit for sure. So if you are looking for an early 80’s slasher flick with some great death scenes and forgettable actors this jam is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. It was like the horror version of “Toy Story”

B. White people have the hardest time opening doors in horror movies. They keep twisting and pushing on looked doors hoping they will magically unlock. I mean shit I twist the knob once, if it’s locked my ass moves on ASAP.

C. The Prowler gives his victims a rose, I thought that was so sweet of him.

D. I feel like a pitch fork is hard to kill people with.

E. This one chick gets stabbed by a pitchfork and it looked so real. I bet she is really dead.

F. Without memorable and fun victims in a horror film that shit will be a snooze.

G. I do love a good Spring Dance.

H. Someone should be this shit for Halloween.

I. I think a movie called “The Prowling Rapist” sounds scarier.

2 thoughts on ““The Prowler” or “There a Toy Soldier After You Bitch”- my fuckin review

  1. Ok… I’m sold on this. I’m a sucker for a good head explosion and I’m ordering the blu ray off amazon right now. Also… I absolutely love how back in the day… movie trailers show off damn near every kill in the flick.

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