“Skyline” or “PantyLine” – my fucking review

OK let me set up the scene at the movie theatre, me and my friend James F. are sitting outside the theatre waiting for the earlier show to get out. It finally lets out and literally everyone that came out of the theatre looked pissed and were cursing about how much the movie sucked. They even felt the need to tell us not to go in. Oddly enough I have really never had this happen to me even though I go to s shit load of movies. So I was like Oh my God I really want to see this movie now.  Ok so here is the review for “Skyline“.The film stars Eric Balfour and other actors who sucked so their names do not matter. Then the transformers come and suck off humans, oops I mean suck up human inside of them. The humans are hiding inside this penthouse the entire film, and shit just happens outside the window and on the fuckin roof. So yeah this film was bad, the score was one of the worst I have heard this year. The dialogue was forced and shit. Lets put it this way a couple is getting sucked up into one of the Transformer UFO’s and they have time to kiss up in the air. Yeah, I would be fucking screaming from terror and punching whoever I was dating in the face because I would be fucking insane. This movie should have aired on the Sci FI Channel, it was like watching a bad TV pilot. Skip this film seriously, and don’t say “You know what Eddie Ray doesn’t know everything, I am going to give it a chance” because you will be angry and probably come thank me with sexual favors later. Wait, go see this movie then call me about those sexual favors. Poor Eric Balfour, somebody give him a good role damn it. If you like taking a shit then turning around and watching it go down the drain after you flush it then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. If you are a white girl and your friends are getting sucked out the window and the squid robots from The Matrix show up to kill people, please don’t ask me “What was that noise?”. I will say this back to you “It’s an Alien you white bitch, we have been dealing with them for an hour now”.

B. Eric Balfour literally beat down an alien in this film with HIS FISTS. What the fuck.

C. This score was shit.

D. Someone actually said “I’ll be right back” in this movie. Shut the fuck up.

E. A nuke went off and some trees blew over and nothing else. I guess nukes aren’t as big as they used to be.

F. This shit was boring, seriously the whole movie takes place in one building.

G. They stayed in the pent house the whole time, they should have run to the basement.

H. If I die do not mourn for me until the issue you are dealing with is over, cry for my ass next week when the invasion is over.

I. You can’t shoot a UFO with a pistol. That shit ain’t going to work.

J. I have no idea why the aliens were here.

K. I swear the big UFO looked like Megatron from Michael Bay’s Transformers movie.

L. At one point Eric and the main chick dodged an F-16 crashing. hahha

M. Watch the trailer again at 1:30 into there is this shot where 3 white chicks peek around the corner. I was like “What the fuck is this Charlie’s Angels”. Also 1:55 in the trailer is the air kiss I was talking about earlier.

N. Eric being sucked off.

O. Don’t move to L.A. bad shit happens there all the time, like bad movies.

P. If Mary Kate and Ashly were in this movie as themselves, then I would have loved it. They could have been flying a helicopter and landing on the building to rescue them.

One thought on ““Skyline” or “PantyLine” – my fucking review

  1. I’m glad I just downloaded that shit! If I’d paid to watch that at the theatre I’d be really pissed. Eddie has got it spot on, this movies sucks a massive ass.
    Complete dogshit!

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