“A Christmas Carol” or “How many times can they make the same fucking movie”- my fuckin review

OK, so this “A Christmas Carol” came out last year in 3D and Jim Carrey (He isn’t acting funny in this thank god) plays Scrooge. Well you already know the story because you have seen it a million times on every format known on earth. This old creepy ass dude is pissed off about Christmas, then 3 spirits come to scare the shit out of him, so that he will be good on Christmas day. Yes this is a horror movie, because there are ghosts and creepy ass CGI humans. Every CGI human in this movie is ugly, scary and grossed me the fuck out. I don’t want to give it away but Scrooge changes his ways, and loves Christmas in the end. Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, Death Becomes Her, etc) directed this movie, and after he made “Polar Express” he only wants to do these creepy ass motion capture CGI films. I did like this movie, but I like Mickey’s Christmas Carol more. So I will never watch it again because everyone has their own favorite “A Christmas Carol” and this aint mine. I wonder how many times this story has been filmed for movies and TV? A million!!!!! Anyway if you like creepy ass CGI people and want to hear tiny fuckin Tim say “God Bless Us All” one more time, then this jam is for you. I think the next “A Christmas Carol” movie should make Scrooge a serial killer like Jack the fuckin Ripper, or Scrooge is a ghostbuster and fucks those ghosts up when they show.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I am glad Jim Carrey was serious in this film.

B. I ain’t scared of some old ass skinny man, I will push his Scrooge ass over.

C. Take my ass to the past, present and future and I will laugh.

D. I do love the ghost of Christmas future.

E. This is a horror movie.

F. The real point of this film is…. you will not be a good person until you get the shit scared out of you by 3 rapists.

G. I think it is pervy when those weird ass kids are underneath Christmas Presents robe. What the fuck are the doing under there? NASTY

H. The CGI humans in this film make me sick of my stomach.

I. I want to kick Tiny Tim’s crutches out from underneath him, or slap him when he says “God Bless Us All” and then I would say “Shut the fuck up you broken bitch, we are starving and poor”.

J. I did like the ghost of Christmas Past too, he was creepy as fuck, here is a picture. He was like a floating candle or some shit.

K. This shit really was a horror movie, rent it for the kiddies.

L. Scrooge flew a lot in this movie.

M. It would have probably been cooler looking in 3D, and had more nudity.

N. If hear the phrase “a retelling of a timeless classic” one more time I will stab someone.

2 thoughts on ““A Christmas Carol” or “How many times can they make the same fucking movie”- my fuckin review

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