“Tron:Legacy” or “I Got A Boner Made of Light Tonight”- my fuckin review

I watched the new “TRON: Legacy” movie tonight with fellow Sci-fi lover James Ford, and I have to say I thought it was pretty FUCKIN COOL! The story starts off in the real world with Jeff Bridges son, all grown up and fatherless. The son goes on a hunt for his daddy and gets sucked up into Tron land, which is a computer programy digital world. The minute they go into Tron land the film goes into 3D world, and not the cheap 3D, but IMAX 3D bitch. Tron land has 2 different Jeff Bridges, the old one and the 1980’s digital version, so basically a real life Jeff Bridges and a CGI one. I thought this was pretty cool and believable because they are in a digital world, so it’s ok there is a CGI Jeff Bridges. Then Jeff Bridges son runs into a girl with black hair and boobies. Later they run into a gayer digital version of David Bowie, and Daft Punk at a club. CGI Jeff Bridges is pissed and has big plans for the digi-world and real world. Ok so I dug this movie a lot, It really held my interest and I loved watching all the action scenes. I loved all the characters costumes and their personalities. At times it felt like an amazing music video, the marriage of music and imagery in some scenes were truly incredible to me. I hate how some films down play the score, if that shit is hot I want to hear it. This movie is not a remake it really is a sequel, and a fun one too. Go see that shit in 3D on an IMAX projector.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. They played a song from the band “Journey” in this movie. HELLO

B. I want all their outfits in this movie. I WANT LIGHT UP CLOTHES DAMN IT.

C. I have been hearing that critics are saying the story was weak for this film. Is the story original? No, Jeff Bridges is basically a metaphor for God, and his son is Jesus, there is even a Judas. Here is my point WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? You should try telling one of your friends your life story, I bet they will say your story is weak too. All stories come from somewhere, it’s the platform they are presented in that can make them fun or lame. Don’t believe me, then go watch “Star Wars” again and just analyze the story, the story aint original but the platform is.

D. I want a light cycle, so I can get into a horrible wreck. I can’t drive that shit it looks hard.

E. I wish my room looked like Jeff Bridges Tron Apartment aka the lobby for Apple Computers.

F. Whatever Disney Exec. thought outside the box (haha I hate and love that phrase) and said “You know what let’s get that nutty group Daft Punk to do the score” should get an Oscar. I LOVE THE SCORE TO THIS FILM. AMAZING.

G. The disc fight scenes were fucking hot. I want to throw a light frisbee at somebody’s head right now so fucking bad I could scream.

H. There was an action scene with Tron Planes flying around. I loved that too.

I. Ok here is the thing, some films are what I call “Rollercoaster films”. When you ride a rollercoaster at Six Flags do you get off and stand there and analyze the fucking wood? No you ride the ride and get off. This movie is a Rollercoaster film, just go ride that 3D bitch and be amazed at the lights and shit.

J. Cillian Murphy has a small role in this film. He is one of my favorite actors to watch.

K. I still don’t know what the hell was going on in the original Tron movie.

L. I hope they make a Tron world at Disneyland.

M. Why the fuck don’t we have lights on clothing yet???? UGHHHHH

N. I will see this movie in the theatre again, not for the story, but just so I can ride that ride again.

O. I want TRON TOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

P. Seriously, what the fuck do you want? 2010 has been the most boring year for movies ever. This shit was an action packed music video light show. If you are going to be a bitch then got to the Stone Mountain laser show and pretend is still 1985.

Q. GO SEE THIS MOVIE IN AN IMAX or IMAX EXPERIENCE THEATRE in 3D (it really does make a difference I promise) If you live in Atlanta there is now one at Atlantic Station. It opened there this week.

R. I hope they make more of these films starring Raven-Symoné.

S. This movie really is “Cool”.

T. My only real complaint is that there was no neon green in Tron land, and nobody ever said “Fuck off Tron” in the film.

2 thoughts on ““Tron:Legacy” or “I Got A Boner Made of Light Tonight”- my fuckin review

  1. Thank you for this review, I want to see this now! I normally wouldn’t want to because I generally don’t enjoy a lot of sci-fi flicks, but you have really made this one sound awesome. I couldn’t agree more about the marriage of music and imagery being underused in movies today. That particularly sparked my interest. I also love rollercoasters (but only if I can ride in the very front), so why not? Part of me wants to go all by myself to see this (in 3D on IMAX) simply because I can and because it will maybe make people assume things about me, but I’ll probably be able to find someone to go with me : )

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