“Iron Man 2” or “Mickey Rourke is Fuckin Nasty”- my fuckin review

I finally watched “Iron Man 2” last night, I didn’t see it in the theatre because I was not a big fan of the first one (Part one had one of the worst scores I have ever heard). So this time the story starts off with a Russian version of Mickey Rourke looking more ugly than usual, and he is pissed off at Iron Man. Mickey decides he is going to make one of those glowy circle things that Iron Man has jammed into his chest, and then go kill him. Now Robert Downy Jr. is having a big expo that his daddy made to promote new tech shit. I will not call Robert D. by his character name Tony Stark, because no matter how you cut it, it really just Robert Down Jr. playing Robert Downy Jr., don’t get me wrong I love him but it is like someone handed Robert D. a robot suit and said action. Ok so Robert D. and Pepper Potts are still arguing and bitching (I will let you in on a secret they like each other really, In case you didn’t know I am being a smart ass here) and not having sex. Later Samuel L. Jackson shoes up as Snake Plissken and Scarlett Jonhansson shows up as somebody who can do cart wheels. Also when Scarlett puts her costume on her hair gets more curly. Lets see, there are some rock ’em sock ’em robot action scenes, some fist fights, Iron Man gets drunk, Mickey Rourke’s hair gets nastier, and Robert D. makes peace with his dead dad. That’s about it, Oh and Thor’s hammer is in New Mexico. So did I like this movie? I mean it was ok and better than the first one, but it is forgettable. I would never watch it again. Here is the problem, the market is now flooded with super hero movies and you really got to rock the mic right to get my attention. I can’t even keep up with all the super hero movies dropping and they are all started to look and feel the same. I feel like the new Batman movies stand out and are shot well, but everything lately has been like OK what the fuck ever. Seriously next year is Green Lantern, Thor , Green Hornet, a new Spiderman, Captain America, and another Batman coming out. Does the word “supersaturated” mean anything to you? Anyway if you are bored and like watched Robert D. being a smart ass for 2 hours then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Pepper Potts should have been played by Annie Potts. This would have made sense to me.

B. One of my favorite super heroes growing up was Iron Man, but the movies are forgettable.

C. The score to this movie is boring.

D. We get it the director likes AC-DC.

E. Robert Downey Jr.. makes a new ELEMENT in his basement. WHAT THE FUCK he is smashing atoms in his basement. haha Give me a break.

F. I do like how everyone knows he is Iron Man.

G. I think the casting for these films is its best part.

H. Mickey Rourke is nasty and gross though.

I. I don’t understand how a suit case can somehow turn into an Iron Man suit via transformer technology.

J. I wish Iron Man was called “Iron Woman” and was played by Mo’Nique. I would love that version.

K. Samuel L. Jackson does not curse in this film, which I hated.

L. Iron Man pisses in his suit.

M. Mickey Rourke‘s character spends a year in a montage making these electro whips to go kill Iron Man with, but he could have just bought a gun and shot him. I mean honestly electro whips in this day and age. His character should have been played by fucking Richard Simmons with those whips. Buy a gun It’s easier and cheaper.

N. It sounds like I am beating up on this movie, but I am not, I just wish it could have stood out more.

O. I do like Samuel L. Jackson‘s assistant character.

P.. Justin Theroux wrote the screenplay to this film. Weird, here is a pic from when he was in “Charlie’s Angels”

2 responses to ““Iron Man 2” or “Mickey Rourke is Fuckin Nasty”- my fuckin review

  1. you’re a fucking idiot. have you ever taken the time to read of few of the comics or anything before writing this? the whole idea was to take the original iron man and make it more modern. if you use old ass people from the original time period to make the movie it would be dumb as fuck (though clearly that’s how you operate). i’m not saying that iron man 2 was a masterpiece by any means. The final fight scene was brief and less than exciting and though they got a perfect actor for ivan vankov (rourke) they didn’t do very well at portraying him as anything but a pissed off russian guy. the score for both movies was fucking awesome by the way. i could understand your frustration since you probably masturbate to kenny g or some shit. IT’S A MOVIE ABOUT A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER YOU DUMB FUCK. it’s not going to be a piece of art. and i personally think that tony stark getting drunk and pissing in his suit was not only hysterical but portrayed the original stark pretty damn well. maybe you should have a drink or two and chill the fuck out.

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