“The Craigslist Killer” or “I have never even been on Craigslist”- my fuckin review

Last night we watched “The Craigslist Killer” on Lifetime network. It was based on a true story bitch. In the film this college dude, who is studying to be a doctor, meets this blonde headed white girl (insert your own jokes here), and literally they fall in love in like 5 fucking minutes. What is it with white girls and love? Just cuz you meet a doctor in training who is charming it does not mean you should fall in love with him in 5 minutes. Charming people are killers! HELLO! So yeah they decide to get engaged to be married and the blonde white girl creates a countdown website to their marriage date. IS THIS SHIT REALLY HAPPENING in the real world. Ladies are you really fucking making marriage countdown websites? OH MY FUCKIN GOD! Now once they decide to get married and create the webpage, he starts getting on Craigslist and looking for tricks to kill, I don’t blame him he probably saw that fuckin marriage countdown webpage and snapped. He is now the Craigslist Killer, and starts meeting chicks in hotels, ties them up, points a gun at them to humiliate them, and then takes their panties. I was like shit this is just a bad date. In the end I think he kills one girl by accident, and he steals a shit load of panties. Also the blonde white girl is a dumb ass who is in denial, even when they find all theses panties wrapped up in individual socks right underneath her mattress with a fuckin gun. She is all “Noooo I love him he is innocent”. There were red flags all over their relationship, listen ladies you got to be on the 1’s and 2’s out there, you can’t let some jive ass mother fucker take advantage of you. Just because someone is nice to you, it doesn’t mean they are nice. Then he killed himself before the trial and before the wedding. In the end the blonde white girl takes down the  marriage countdown website. hahha This was a Lifetime movie so if you are looking for gold you will not find it here. Also we were confused on dates/times and how many people were killed or how many panties were missing. Get the facts straight, I want the info not a marriage countdown website for 2 hours. Let’s put it this way today I had to look up the real info on the Craigslist killer, because the movie failed to deliver it.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. College dudes are creeps and rapists in films.

B. College dudes are probably creeps and rapists in real life.

C. Just because you are blonde you don’t have to be dumb. Fight the stereotype.

D. If you are a women and you are living with a dude, go check your mattress ASAP and look for other girls panties and guns. Also fuck it, check his internet history too. If he has been on Craigslist you had better turn around right now because he is probably standing behind you with a gun.

E. They showed him taking pictures of his wee wee for Craigslist.

F. The cop told the dumb blonde girl, that on Craigslist it said her boyfriend (the killer) was 8 inches cut. I almost dropped my sour patch kids. HAHA I was like did they just say 8 inches cut on LIFETIME!

G. I am sorry but if you are a hooker then your life is in danger every time you knock boots with someone for money.

H. Do panties/underwear turn people on?

I. As far as killers go he was a punk ass bitch. WEAKKKKKKKK.

J. Seriously people need to get to know each other first. I have known people for years and I am still debating if I love them or not.

K. 8 inches cut hahahaha

L. Lifetime is always about murder and the Golden Girls, YEAH THAT’S WHY I WATCH IT BITCH.

M. Sleep with a machete.

N. I really have never been on Craigslist.

O. One of the hookers in the film was super skinny and sexy, then there was a documentary afterwards and they interviewed the real girl. She was neither skinny or sexy, and her new ad said “chunky but fun”.

P. Here is what he looked like for real.

Q. No I don’t have a picture of his penis. You perverts!

R. ‎”Takes more than cutting off my panties to humiliate me” -said by Marlinda Phillips while watching “The Craigslist Killer”.

S. His profile name on Craigslist was “SexAddict6969”.

T. Here is a screen shot of their marriage countdown webpage.

4 responses to ““The Craigslist Killer” or “I have never even been on Craigslist”- my fuckin review

  1. I’m still baffled that out of all the ideas for a movie Lifetime chose, this. A story about a pussy wanna-be serial killer, and a blonde with an IQ of an amoeba. Cut the crap and make something worth watching.
    Is that SS for real? Same goes for the user name.

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