Films I Hate That Johnny Depp Is In- my fuckin review

I hate Johnny in these roles. Also stop blowing Tim Burton to get roles, we get it you and him are dating.

1. Benny & Joon- lame.

2. Don Juan DeMarco- I have a friend named Jason DeMarco he is cooler.

3. The Ninth Gate- shit.

4. Chocolat- too much sugar.

5. From Hell- get real.

6. All Pirates of the Caribbean films, even the one not out yet.- if you are playing a drunk gay pirate how come you ain’t making out with dudes in the film.

7. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- Too much top hat for your buck.

8. Corpse Bride- we are already watched “Nightmare Before Xmas”.

9. Sweeny Todd- shut up.

10. Alice in Wonderland- I threw up in 3D.

These are the only films I like Johnny Depp in…….

1. A Nightmare on Elm St.- best role

2. Cry Baby- classy.

3. Edward Scissorhands- bondage goth kids are cool.

4. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare- second best role.

5. Ed Wood- I like your sweater.

6. Sleepy Hollow- It halloweeny

7. Once upon a time in Mexico- Robert Rodriguez is a brilliant director

The last movie you did that was worth a shit was in 1994. OK I jumped the gun 2003

You used to be cool and now you look like this all the time. This look is not cool.

10 thoughts on “Films I Hate That Johnny Depp Is In- my fuckin review

  1. Oh come on now, you didn’t like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? That is by far the best acting I have ever seen him do. I want to be Raoul Duke so fucking bad it might be a little unhealthy. That is truly one of my top ten favorite movies. Also, it is futile to attempt to redo Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. Fuck you, Tim Burton.

  2. I’d have to add Secret Window, to your bad list. I liked the movie, just not him in Mort’s role. They could have easily picked someone better.

  3. thank god i found someone who hated Benny & Joon. I quietly cried bitter tears of frustration watching it at a friend’s house.

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