“Black Mama, White Mama” (1973) or “Salt-n-Pepa on the Run”- my fuckin review

I finally watched “Black Mama, White Mama” this past weekend starring Pam Grier. Ok so the story is about this Black Mama (Pam Grier) who gets arrested on some Island, and then is taken to an all girl nude prison. There she meets the skinny blonde headed girl called White Mama (Margaret Markov) and they hate each other and have cat fights. Then all the girls take a shower and it’s boob city, but their police guard is also a woman, and she watches them shower through a hole in the wall, and yes gets her rocks off. Next Black Mama and White Mama get into a fight, then get stuck in a hot box (a small metal box outside in the hot sun) together in the nude. Later Black Mama and White Mama get transported out of that all girl nude prison, but when they are put on the bus they are handcuffed together. Yep, they are stuck with each other the rest of the movie. They eventually escape the all girl nude prison bus and head for the hills still handcuffed and fighting off  rapists (Everyone in this movie wants to rape them, I am serious. If I was girl and watched this movie in 1973 I would have been scared to leave the fucking house for fear of getting raped. Hey Ladies you need to carry a knife or gun to ward off these creeps.) and then they find 2 nun outfits to run around in and stay hidden. I loved seeing them fight assholes off dressed as nuns. Later they run into Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), who is also an asshole rapist. Black Mama and White Mama eventually start getting along and realize they are not so different after all, and start helping each other. It turns out White Mama is a revolutionist and is trying to help the people of this island that they are trapped on, so Black Mama helps her too. This movie is clearly an exploitation film, but I like these films. I also love the premise, and how women can fight their way out of crazy situations and end up being on top or in charge. If you love Pam Grier, all girl nude prisons, cursing, fight scenes, and nun outfits then this movie is for you. It was definitely for me.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I love you Pam Grier you are true bad ass.

B. At one point Black Mama says this “Some jive ass revolution don’t mean shit to me”. I clapped when I heard this.

C. Here is a pic of a Sid Haig from the movie. He played Captain Spaulding in Rob Zombies “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “The Devils Rejects”.

D. At one point a rapist tortured a girl by shocking her boobies.

E. That nude girl shower scene was long and they were spraying each other with water and giggling during it. If I was girl in a shower with other girls I would giggle a lot too.

F. Here they are as nuns on the run. This premise is amazing to me. People dressing up as nuns to get away.

G.  Seriously if I ever have a daughter she will be in a karate class when she turns 5, so she can fight off creeps and rapists.

H. I love this phrase “Chicks in Chains”.

I. Do women watch these films?

J. I pray one day I have to disguise myself as a nun to get away.

K. The ending of this film was sad.

L. I pray they remake this film with Raven Symone as Black Mama and one of the Olsen twins as White Mama. I would pass out.

M. Here is the scene where they shut a rapist down. That’s how you do it. You stab his ass then blow up his crib up. Human males can be such fucking shit heads.

N. I want the score to this fucking movie NOW!

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