“My Soul To Take” or “My Soul Just Got Shit On”- my fucking review

I didn’t get to see this movie in the theatre, but I got to watch it the other night. This is a Wes Craven (Scream, Nightmare on Elm St, Vampire in Brooklyn) film that he wrote and directed.  OK let me try to tell you what this movie is about, but honestly it is all over the fucking place and I don’t know if I understood what the fuck was going on. So there is this crazy dude at the beginning who is a killer with multiple personalities. He kills his pregnant wife, and then is shot by the cops, but the baby and his older daughter are still alive. One of the multiple personalities I think is a demon. Also this same night 6 other babies are born in the town at the same time as his kid. Now cut to 16 years later and all 7 kids are in high school, and the older sister who survived is named “Vamp” and somehow she rules the school, but she is stupid. The dialogue is lost and all over the place at this point. Then the dead killer’s son makes an elaborate condor costumes in a couple of hours. This makes no sense to me, and then they briefly try to throw in another plot about Native Americans and spirits. Then someone dressed up as Rob Zombie and starts killing the 7 teens, because it is the dead killers anniversary. In the end the teens argue a lot and fight for no reason, and the killer I think is revealed, which doesn’t make sense. It is hard for me to even fully explain what this movie is about, because it makes no sense. It is a fucking mess, and I am sad about it. Wes what the fuck is going on? The dialogue makes no sense, the scenes are forced and flashy. The characters are stupid, and the actors look they don’t even know what the fuck is going. When the credits came up I had to ask Kevin V. and James F. who the killer even was. I was sad Wes Craven did this film and I am very disappointed. DO NOT watch this movie at all, there is nothing to see here, keep moving.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The cops in this film suck, they say and do stupid shit throughout the entire film.

B. The teens were lame in this movie, and they didn’t seem real to me at all.

C. The score was a mess, I even like the composer a lot, and he let me down.

D. You can not make an elaborate condor costume in one night, It would have taken his ass weeks to do.

E. The death scenes were stupid and forced.

F. Who said it was ok to make this movie.

G. Multiple personalities just sound like a party to me. At least you will not need to go on dates anymore.

H. What the fuck is this costume supposed to even be, it looks like Rob fuckin Zombie.

I. There was one character who was blind, and it was so forced and stupid.

J. The older sister beats her brother up for no reason. Seriously like whips his fuckin ass and breaks his nose.

K. The main character was named “Bug”, but I have no idea why. He sucked too.

L. Anyway seriously skip this disaster. I am still confused about all the bullshit that was thrown at me in this movie.

M. If I had seen this in theatre in 3D I would have poked out both my fuckin eyes by the end of it.

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