“The Social Network” or “Facebook Got Me Laid” – my fuckin review

Ok I get it I am slow, I wanted to see “The Social Network” in the theatre but it didn’t work out. I did however watch it last night, and I was just going to watch a few minutes of it and go to bed, but honestly I put this bitch in and it was so interesting I watched the entire film.

The Story starts off with this nerd who likes hoodies named Mark Zuckerberg, and he is not good with humans, so he goes back home to get on Livejournal (I had one of these also) and bitch about some girl. Seriously that is the truth, Livejournal was nothing but drama and shit talk. Then he decides to make some “hot or not” type website that involves hot girls in the college. This site gets a lot of internet traffic and 2 Harvard twins take notice and want him to do some sort of Harvard social network thing, but Mark is like fuck ya’ll, I am going to make my own jam called “The Facebook”. So he get his boyfriend Eduardo Saverin to help him with money and shit, and they make THE FACEBOOK, and that shit starts catching on. Later they run into Justin Timberlake and he created that site Napster that shut down the music industry. Justin’s character is a douche, but Mark thinks he is cool and yet hot so he wants to date him, Eduardo gets jealous and doesn’t like Justin at all. Eduardo then goes to New York to help get ads for THE FACEBOOK, while Mark and his new boyfriend Justin go to California to work on the site and change the name to just “FACEBOOK”. Then back here in Georgia someone sends me a link to Facebook and asking me if I was on it, I said what the fuck is Facebook (fuck you it was like 2006 and that shit was new), but I was bored and I made me one and it sat there cuz nobody I knew was on it yet. My ass was all over Myspace like cat shit in an animal hoarders house. Meanwhile Justin and Mark are in love and Facebook is popping off, but Eduardo flies out to California and finds Mark cheating on him and is PISSED. Now Mark and Eduardo break up, and Eduardo sues Mark for Facebook and for being a lousy lay. Also those Harvard twins are now suing Mark, because Mark didn’t put out in the beginning. Then back in Georgia I  become a whore to Facebook, but it’s ok cuz it’s still considered cool. Back in California Justin is at a party with interns and cocaine on his lips, so Mark dumps him. In the end Mark is alone but a billionaire, everyone on earth is on Facebook now including your fucking grandmother, and Facebook is no longer cool because all your friends are scared every time you upload a photo of them doing something silly or holding a beer. They are all “Oh my god please don’t post that my mom will see it”,  this phrase will be the kiss of death for the next generation of kids growing up, they will turn their backs on Facebook, because their fucking parents are on it. OK so I really did like this movie more than I thought I would, It really held my interest the entire time. I thought Jesse Eisenberg did an awesome job in it. The director David Fincher really nows how to shoot a film and keep it moving. The score was by Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) and was one of the better scores I have heard all year. Anyway if you like films about nerds getting rich or if you want to learn more about the creation of the site you use ever 5 minutes then this movie is for you.

The Trailers:

The Facts:

A. Jesse Eisenberg is better than Michael Cera. Oddly enough both actors have shitty hair. Jesse DO NOT LET YOUR HAIR GROW OUT LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN. What the fuck is that bush bitch?

B. Justin Timberlake did a really going job playing a douche.

C. Trent Reznor‘s score is amazing. You can here my favorite piece here.

D. I just checked my Facebook while writing this.

E. Facebook has gotten me laid before. Thank You Mark Zuckerberg.

F. Honestly Mark Zuckerberg was portrayed more of a lonely outcast than an asshole to me.

G. I wonder if Mark and Eduardo are best friends again, that was sad to me.

H. Justin Timberlake and the real Sean Parker (creator of Napster).

I.  Jesse Eisenberg and the real Mark Zuckerberg (creator of Facebook).

J. Andrew Garfield and the real Eduardo Saverin (co-founder of Facebook).

K. David Fincher‘s 2 best films were Madonna‘s “Express Yourself” and “Vogue”, that’s right he directed both these music videos.

L. Seriously Facebook is better than Myspace and Livejournal. This girl told me 2 years ago that Myspace is now the “Internet Ghetto”.

M. The best part about Facebook is how it allowed us to become our own “Big Brothers”, the government doesn’t have to spy on you anymore, they know exactly where you are , what you are doing, who you are dating, what you look like, etc. HAHA I love it! YOU ARE BIG BROTHER BITCH!

N. I saw Mark Zuckerberg in an interview and he is a quiet nerd. A rich quiet nerd.

O. Anyway you should definitely check this movie out, and then make a post about it on Facebook.

P. I will post this review to Facebook probably 2 or more times.

Q. Anytime anything changes on Facebook, everyone gets pissed off, it turns out humans don’t like change at all.

R. I know people around the world now because of Facebook. I am a fan of it. Here is a link to it http://www.facebook.com/eddieray

2 responses to ““The Social Network” or “Facebook Got Me Laid” – my fuckin review

  1. A few thoughts about this:

    – I am married to my husband because of Friendster. Put your brain in a time machine to comprehend that shit.
    – Watching this movie drunk made me google “Mark Zuckerberg’s House.” He has a teeny house for a billionaire that looks like some shit you’d find on Clairmont Road.
    – Eduardo got like 65 million or some shit and lives on an island in the Phillipines or some rich crap. Again, drunk googling.
    – That’s it.

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