“The Black Dahila” or “The White Dahila”- my fuck review

This movie is not about a black female (Lil Kim) action star killing people out of revenge, it is about a dead white chick. Ok so the movie starts off with Josh Hartnett with bad hair, for some reason his hair always looks like shit in movies. Josh is an ex-boxer who is a cop and hangs out with another ex-boxer (Aaron Eckhart) who is also a cop. Aaron is dating Scarlett Johansson and eventually all three of them hang out all the time and hold each others hands. Then Josh and Aaron make a lot of arrests, I am not sure if this has anything to do with The Black Dahila or not. Then later they find the The Black Dahila cut in half in a field and Josh tries to find out who did it. Later Josh goes to a lesbian club (back in 1947 I guess they were seedy or some shit) and listens to K.D. Lang sing (I am not joking), and picks up Hilary Swank who is a lesbian. I think she knows something about the case, but at this point I am fuckin lost. Rose McGowen shows up at one point dressed like and Egyptian, I think she may be a movie star. In the end Josh sleeps with Hilary and Scarlett, and I think they find out who the killer is. This movie is confusing to me and afterwards I watched the documentary for it and realized that everything in the film is made up except for The Black Dahila’s death. So I don’t even think the killer is the real killer. This shit makes no sense to me. Yeah everybody looks pretty in dresses holding cigarettes and shit, but it was long-winded, made up, and confusing. If you like confusing movies about real events that are made up starring a bunch of actors you know then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The Black Dahila should have been about Pam Grier killing white movie stars for taking her parts.

B. I did like the cast of this film, even though I felt lost watching it.

C. This movie was directed by Brian De Palma, I am not a big fan of his. I did like “Carrie” and “Dressed to Kill”. He does shoot his films in nutty ways and I guess that’s cool, but your shit don’t make sense.

D. There was a lot of narration from Josh like in old school detective movie. It got old.

E. I do like Hilary Swank, but her best role was in “The Next Karate Kid”.

F. Just think I still no nothing about the real Black Dahila after watching this film.

G. The sex scenes were PG in this movie. Lame.

H. They should have played this song in the end credits, but changed the song to “Black Dahila” instead of “Black Velvet”.

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