“Antichrist” or “Christ What In The Fuck Did I Just Watch”- my fuckin review

Ok Me and Kevin V. just watched “Antichrist” and this movie has been out for a minute, but I just have not had the chance to watch it until now. Ok let me see if I can explain it. It is about this married couple (Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) who are fucking and then their kid jumps out a window. That is just the opening, and you see Willem Dafoe‘s hard pee pee going in and out of his wife. I almost threw up, even though it was a stunt pecker. Then the couple goes to Eden, which is where their cabin is in the woods, to get past the grief of their dead kid. Then shit starts getting fucked up and nasty. They have sex constantly but it’s not hot or sexy. The wife is seeing crazy shit in the woods, the husband is finding witch shit in the attic, foxes are talking, pee pee’s are being jerked off with bloody jizz. I am leaving out a lot of shit on purpose, this movie is god damn nutz, and it made me feel dizzy. It is a quiet film, and technically it is a horror movie but not what you expect. Which is a good thing. I found myself nervous, weirded the fuck out, sick, and horrified. This movie is good because it made you feel all these things. It did its job, to make you uneasy and fuckin sick. Not in lame ass “Saw” way, this shit looked real and creepy. I am still thinking about this movie today, and it will stay with my ass until I die. Watch this movie! It is fucked up and you will be sick, but that is a good thing. I would also say DO NOT watch the trailer. Just rent it and be confused, lost and scared. So if you like Willem dafoe, fucked up shit, dicks shooting blood, and spooky shit popping off then this movie is for you. It really is the feel good movie of the year.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I am not into dick and vagina mutilation. It’s not my bag of tea.

B. Willem dafoe is nasty in any timeframe or movie.

C. The lady in it said “Nature is Satan’s Church”. True.

D. The opening of this movie looked like Madonna‘s “Oh Father” music video.

E. Crazy people are always crazy.

F. Don’t fuck crazy people or therapists.

G. The director is Lars von Trier, he has done a bunch of films.

H. The three beggers and a the girls ass…. UGHHHHHHHH…..EVIL

I. At one point the chick head bangs a toilet bowl. That shit hurts.

J. Kevin V.  said “The real antichrist would probably be a butt hole baby, because he don’t play by the rules, and not come out a vagina”. Makes sense to me.

J. Creepy Sex!

K. You will never orgasm the same way again.

L. There were a lot of amazing shots in this movie, and they also made me creeped out.

M. Rent this shit and realize your life is going pretty well.

N. At point a deer is birthing a baby on the run. GROSS.

O. The director had just gotten out of a mental hospital for depression when he started directing this movie. NO SHIT!

P. My favorite Antichrist was Damien Thorn (Jonathan Scott-Taylor) from “Damien: Omen II“.

P. Here is is the poster. WTF.

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