“Drive Angry” or “Driving Miss Angry”- my fuckin review

I rented “Drive Angry 3D” last night and I gave it a whirl, I didn’t see it in 3D though and here is the review. OK it starts off with Nicolas Cage with shitty hair and he is chasing someone in a muscle car. He catches up to them, then kills them, he is a good guy but still a bad guy. Anyway his car goes boom and now he needs a new ride from a hot girl, this hot girl I do like cuz she was in “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane” (find this movie it is awesome) and her name is Amber Heard. She curses a lot in this movie so that is a plus, and also drives a muscle car and listens to “Peaches“. She meets up with Cage and give him a ride and now she is caught up in the drama. There is some demonic accountant after Cage, and Cage is after some cult who killed his daughter and they wanna sacrifice his grand baby. Later Cage is having sex with a girl who is completely naked but Cage’s entire outfit is on. This is fucking stupid and obvious. Cage clearly didn’t want to be even remotely nude in this scene, and it just looks weird and forced. In the end there are a couple of cool lines, a couple of cool fight scenes, and nobody really drives that angry in it. They should film my ass on highway 75 and I will show them fuckin drive angry. This is movie is weird enough to hold your interest, but honestly it’s just a bigger budgeted version of the TV show “Supernatural” and they did it better on that TV show. They even have a special gun that kill demons just like on “Supernatural”. There are some boobs here and there, but cage makes me sick and its hard to buy what he is selling with that shitty hair. The only cool part about this movie is Amber Heard. I would hang out with her any day of the week. She is rough and tough and has nice eye brows. Any way I think this movie was trying to be some new wave grind house movie, but it just didn’t do it for me. If you are into muscle cars, weird supernatural story lines, some boobs here and there, and Cages shitty hair then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Cage was in a  stereotypical action shot that I call  “Walking away from an explosion, but too cool to notice shot”.

B. They should have cast Morgan Freeman and Jessica Tandy going around killing people, now that would have been original. Think “Driving Miss Daisy” attached to a grenade.

C. Comb your fuckin hair.

D. Amber Heard is cool.

E. They said the world is full of “Bad Ass Mother Fuckers”. haha These guys weren’t that bad ass.

F. Amber Heard punches a girl out and the girl is nude.

G. The Director  is Patrick Lussier and he did “My Bloody Valentine” which I liked a lot. I just found out that he is also doing a remake/reboot of “Halloween III“. Hmmm we will see I guess. At least it will be violent.

H. Oddly enough Tom Atkins was in this movie and was in the original “Halloween III: Season of the Witch “. I love Tom Atkins.

I. Maybe I should have seen this movie in 3D and it would have been cooler.

J. I like how the demon bad guy was really not that bad.

K. I am glad Cage and Amber never got physical. I would have puked.

L. I had no idea this movie had a supernatural element until I watched it.

M. Don’t pick up hitch hikers with shitty hair.

N. The score was boring and forgettable.

O. This Director and writer are going in the right direction though. Keep it up!

P. This poster is weird.

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