“The New Kids” or “Don’t Fuck With New Kids On The Block”- my fuckin review

I just watched “The New Kids” it came out in 1985  and was directed by  Sean S. Cunningham (He directed the original “Friday the 13th“). The movie starts off with this military family (Dad, mom, teenage son, teenage daughter ) living somewhere out west and they are happy and shit. The mom and dad die in a car crash and the brother and sister (Lori Loughlin) have to go live with their Uncle and Aunt in Florida. It turns out their Uncle and Aunt are pretty cool and own this boot leg ass christmas themed amusement park that they help fix up. Then they go to school and run into a White Trash gang from Tampa run by James Spader, who has bleached his hair and eyebrows for this part. James wants a piece of Lori’s action, but she is all “fuck you white trash”. Now it’s payback time, James Spader’s gang goes after the brother and sister duo, and her new boyfriend Eric Stoltz. Don’t forget that the brother and sister duo was raised in the military so they know how to fight back, so it’s on bitch. This movie is fun and bizarre and somehow I have missed out on over the years. It is on Demand right now for FREE so go and watch that shit. It is rate “R” bitch. There is even a “Working Out” montage, a roller coaster beheading, the brother gets pissed on, everyone has tiny ass short-shorts on, and dog eats someones face off. This movie is awesome and I buying this shit ASAP. Also this movie has an amazing ending.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The Uncle makes a reference that they will be so rich one day that “They will be farting through silk”. Amazing.

B. The writer was Stephen Gyllenhaal, yep father of Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jake Gyllenhaal.

C. I wish the “New Kids On The Block” were in this as the white trash Tampa Gang. They could have killed people while singing this song.

D. Here is the real white trash Tampa gang fucking with the brother.

E. James Spader is a rapist. Watch and see.

F. She farted.

G. Tom Atkins is the their dad that dies in the beginning. I love him.

H. Lalo Schifrin composed the score. Love it.

I. Foreign poster. LOVE THAT SHIT.

J. Lori Loughlin was Becky Katsopolis in the TV show “Full House“.

K. John Philbin, who plays Chuck in “The Return of the Living Dead“, is in James Spader’s gang in this movie. I LOVE CHUCK.

L. There is this weird scene where the brother ties up James Spader in his bikini underwear and sits on his crotch. What the fuck! HAHA Amazing.

M. Here is the tag line “The kids learned three things about southern hospitality, blood, sweat and terror!” AMAZING!

N. I LOVE THIS POSTER.

4 thoughts on ““The New Kids” or “Don’t Fuck With New Kids On The Block”- my fuckin review

  1. I watched this movie yesterday and I loved it! So happy to see a girl who fights back instead of just screaming. P.S. Fire + gas pump = HAHAHA!

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