“The Thing” (2011) or “Pre-Thing in My Pants”- my fuckin review

I have been waiting for the prequel to “The Thing” to drop (come out) for a while now and I got see it the other day with Max Fisher and Chris Green. Let me start off by saying that John Carpenter‘s 1982 version of the “The Thing” is one of my favorite films ever but remember that John Carpenter’s version was also a remake. OK so the story starts off before John Carpenter’s version pops off in 1982. This time we find out what happens in that Norwegian camp down the road. The lead in the film is a girl named Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead– “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World“, “Death Proof“, “Black Christmas“, “Final Destination 3“) who is an American who flies out to Antarctica to help all these Kris Kringle looking dudes for Norway find out what this alien thing is they found frozen in the snow. So Kate, a bunch of Norwegian dudes and one Norwegian chick are trying to figure out what this shit is, but it’s too late that alien bitch has woken the fuck up and it’s killing time. This space bitch will consume you, duplicate you, then spit your ass back out as a new Miss Thing (or Mr. Thing). Now the chase is on to figure who is human and who or whom could be the thing. Without giving shit away the film literally ends where John Carpenter’s begins. So you could watch those bitches back to back and they would fit. OK so I dug this movie. Is it the best movie ever? No, but it is shot well and not flashy and trashy. The special efx are about half CGI and half real makeup efx too. Everything looked cool and scary and it flowed well. I love horror that takes place in the snow because blood shows up better. Haha At times it felt like a remake which I did not like. They should have steered clear of those scenes and just came up with original ones. I also wish there would have been more memorable lines in the film. I sort of felt like they were too scared to take any chances with dialogue. There are so many quotable lines in John Carpenters version, which made the script and dialogue more fun and more fun to re-watch. Otherwise it was a cool movie and worth the watch, I just wish they would have went for it a little more and not played it so safe. So if you love big things, snow, aliens, and spaceships then go see this jam.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I would have super emphasized the word “Thing” ever time someone said it in the movie.

B. They played the song “Who can it be now” by Men at work. Get it…. because they don’t know who the thing is…Haha

C. I wish Salt-n-Pepa would have been in this movie fighting The Thing and singing their song “Shake your Thang”.

D. Here is a scene from John Carpenter’s The Thing. Notice the music, the special efx, and how intense this shit is still to this day.

Also this scene is still crazy and fucked up to me, and remember this was 1982.

E. The composer was Marco Beltrami and I do love his music. He did the “Scream” films music as well.

F.  Here is Mary Elizabeth Winstead burning thing shit. I also want a flame thrower.

G. Here is my good friend Joey Phillips as R.J. MacReady for Halloween 2010.

H. I wonder if everyone had hard nipples while filming in the snow.

I. The Things theme is tight as fuck. Listen to it and be turned on.

J. If you are interested the original is called “The Thing from Another World” and was made in 1951. It is pretty good too.

K. I wonder how many dicks the thing has duplicated in its life.

L. There was not enough cursing in this movie for my tastes. I did like that there were Norwegian subtitles in the movie, and that one guy named Lars called the thing a demon. I was like “True”.

M. There was no love interest in this movie. THANK GOD.

N. Cute poster.

4 responses to ““The Thing” (2011) or “Pre-Thing in My Pants”- my fuckin review

  1. It’s no great thing, just a better Thing than expected. It’s not incredibly scary but has the same tense and paranoid feel that the Carpenter version went for, and it works in a way. The problem is that on own it’s own, it doesn’t really work. Good review. Check out mine when you get the chance.

  2. Pingback: The Best 15 Films of 2011… (That I enjoyed watching bitch!) | EDDIE RAY BREAKS THAT SHIT DOWN!

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