“Andre” or “A Little Girl Fucks A Seal” -my fuckin review.

I just watched “Andre” for the first time and here is my movie review. This shit was based on a true story and I wish it was my true story bitch. Ok so this little girl lives in a town by the ocean and meets this is orphaned seal. They fall in love and start dating, at first her family approves of this until they start sleeping together. She says he is slippery but still hot, and he doesn’t need a condom because she can’t get pregnant. Later her sister and Joshua Jackson are not cool with this sex with animals shit and try to kill him. They soon find out you can’t kill love and the little girl and the seal live happily ever after and bang all night. OK so I liked this film but didn’t love it, I like Tina Majorino and seals so I was entertained, but I could have used more action or at least a Michael Jackson song at the end. So if you like little girls crying over seals, Joshua Jackson, seals swimming, and seals acting like they are farting then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Here is a before and after of Tina Majorino. She was recently on the TV show “Big Love“.

B. Seals are always lubed up.

C. Here is Joshua Jackson aka PACEY in this film.

D. I would be best friends with a seal and the singer Seal. They should have played this song at the end.

E. Chelsea Fields plays the mom and I have always thought she was hot. She was in this show.

F. Here they are making out.

G. Shit “Free Willy” had this song in it.

H. Shane Meier played her brother, he was also in “The Matthew Shepard Story” and “Needful Things” and did a shit load of Voice Overs. Also here he is before and after.

I. Andre makes fart noises a lot.

J. Look at her fucking outfit, she looks like a fuckin HOBO.

One thought on ““Andre” or “A Little Girl Fucks A Seal” -my fuckin review.

  1. So basically, this is the story of a young lesbian hobo who wants to get her beastiality on before she decides to go full dike. I guess I could kinda sorta, sorta kinda, kinda kinda sorta get into that.

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