“Another Earth” or “Another Earth? I Hated The First One”- my fuckin review

I just watched “Another Earth” with Max FisherMatthew Gallo, and Tristan Trenkle and here is the fuckin movie review. Ok so the movie starts off with this drunk blonde girl who gets into a car wreck because she is looking up into the sky. She is literally looking up at another Earth that has shown up in space. It looks just like our Earth, so like Earth part 2. The other car she hits has that creepy dude (William Mapother ) from “Lost”  in it, and his wife and kid. The wife and kid die and the blonde drunk girl goes to jail for 4 years for killing them. So while she is in jail, I assume everybody on Earth is dealing with the new Earth 2 showing up. They really don’t show much about that just hints about here and there. So the drunk blonde girl gets out and starts dressing like Eminem from the movie “8 Mile“, even though she never enters rap battle, she does decide to go to the guy she hit 4 years ago and say she is sorry for killing his family. The “I’m sorry” part does not happen instead she ends up cleaning his house up and becoming his fuckin maid and they fall in love. Now she wins a ticket to fly to Earth 2, because she entered a contest back when her life sucked after prison life. I will stop here so as not to give anything away. I will say this though, if you are looking for fun times on Earth 2 you are not going to get them. If you are looking for any sort of answers about Earth 2 showing up in our atmosphere, you are not going to get them. If you are looking for any reason why Earth 1 is not immediately ripped apart by the gravitational pull of Earth 2, you are not going to get them. If you are looking for a drunk blonde bitch dressing like Eminen, who cleans houses and falls in love with a creepy ass dude from “Lost” then this is the movie for you. This movie was not for me, I wanted to see it really bad because the trailer looked cool, I wanted a love story on two Earths.  They talk about how there is another “You” on Earth 2, but yet for some reason (never explained) we can’t send pics or communicate  worth a shit with Earth 2 when it is right the fuck outside the window. Gimme a break! Anyway I wanted more but I didn’t get it. The first person that says “Well this was not that kind of movie”. Well bitch watch the trailer, don’t sell me that kind of movie asshole and I will not expect one. I wish both Earth’s would have exploded at the end.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. If you tell me there is another me on Earth 2, then I will go make out with that other me to see if I am any good in bed.

B. The music was done by Fall On Your Sword. It was ok.

C. Who has time for love, WHEN A GOD DAMN GIANT PLANET SHOWS UP IN THE ATMOSPHERE WITH ANOTHER US ON IT.

D. Time for a rap battle. Costume designs by Eminem.

E. God I wish her and Eminem would have had a rap battle.

F. You creepy bitch. William Mapother is also Tom Cruise‘s cousin. I just now they gave each other creepy ass hand jobs with they were 16. I think I am going to throw up now.

G. Another Earth was the same old tired ass earth.

H. Honestly look how close it is! It’s closer than the moon. In case you didn’t know the moon controls the tides on earth and shit. So you piece it together bitch. Yet look how peaceful shit is.

I. She had to cuddle him. hahaha

J. I wanted Earth 2 to invade us.

K. There was a TV show called “Earth 2” back in 1994, it was probably better. It starred Rebecca Gayheart.

L. At one point Matt G. thought the girl was laying on the ground outside naked in the cold because she was horny for Earth 2, but really she was just suicidal. Haha

M. She was not drunk for the poster, just stoned. Brit Marling is the Blonde and she also co-wrote it.

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