“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (2011 U.S. Verison) or “The Goth Girl with the Nancy Drew Boobies”- my fuckin review

I just watched “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” with Max F.,  Stephanie N., Matt G., and Tristan T. and here is the movie review bitch. Ok so remember this is remake of the Swedish version that popped off in 2009 (Here is the link for the 2009 version The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). The film starts off with Daniel Craig not playing James Bond, but still trying to solve mysteries and spying and shit. He is in trouble with his newspaper because he wrote some shit about a dude and didn’t have the proof . He is then hired by some sketchy ass German/Swedish mother fuckers on an island to solve this 40-year-old mystery about a dead girl who is their relative. Some of the relatives are Nazi’s, those mother fuckers never go away! Meanwhile back in Stockholm or wherever there is this Dragon Tattooed goth girl named  Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) who is a computer genius doing Matrix level shit. She is also getting raped by her parole officer for extra cash, and she fucks his shit up later. Go DRAGON TATTOO GIRL! Later Dragon Tattoo Girl joins forces with Daniel Craig to solve this mystery, along the way there are some sex scenes, boobies and hoodies. OK I did like this movie, and even liked it better than the Swedish version. Sorry Sweds! David Fincher is a great director and knows how to keep a story moving, even if it’s a quiet and long movie. The opening credits to this movie were fucking incredible. Haha I felt like Daniel and Rooney did a good job  acting in it and I loved how their lives were still going around the mystery. That seems real to me, I mean shit I can solve your case but I still gotta pay bills and feed the cat and shit. I loved that they kept it violent, graphic, and sexual in the U.S. version also. If you are looked for an action packed or exciting movie then this is not it. If you want to see a rated “R” quiet mystery with boobies and sex then this is it. I liked it, but would not want to see it again any time soon, just the opening credits. Give it a whirl if you want that mystery.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. David Fincher directed this movie and he is one of the top directors out there, but doing remakes and shit ain’t taking chances. I hope he doesn’t forget to take chances with filmmaking or he becomes to complacent with it, because that is when directors lose their shit.

B. Sometimes it felt like James Bond with no action.

C. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross composed the score, and Trent impressed me  a lot with the score to “The Social Network“, because that one is amazing. I only enjoyed about half of this one, some of it was just too quiet and boring (not memorable), but I thought he did a good job with the other half and it was an interesting way to compose this film, even if I was not in love with it. The CD/Download has 39 tracks on it. He ain’t playing. Take a listen to one the tracks here that I dug.

D. Dragon Tattoo girl loves happy meals.

E. H & M has a whole new clothing line devoted to the Dragon Tattoo look. Haha get ready for Dragon Tattoo girls everywhere. Here is the link if you need to buy some.

http://www.hm.com/us/dragon-tattoo

F. Neither character owned a gun to fight off Nazi’s with.

G. The theme song for the movie is a new version of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”. It’s performed by Karen O, Trent Reznor, and Atticus Ross and I love this version of the song. They used this song in the opening credits of the film and it was the best opening credits to a film that I have seen in a long while. Here is the song. David Fincher’s background is directing music videos and I love the way he marries music and imagery together.

H. Yep, he directed Madonna’s “Vogue” too.

I. They played Enya’s “Orinoco Flow” in this film in an amazing scene. I have always loved this song. The scene was awesome too.

J. Here is the Dragon Girl Tattoo Posse in front of the poster, we wore our hoodies up so we would look like a Dragon Tattoo Girl.

K. Dragon Tattoo Girl couldn’t afford eyebrows.

L. There is rape, boobies and a fat pee pee in this, so take your kids only if you are a cool parent.

M. In case you are lame Nancy Drew solved mysteries bitch.

N. There was a cat in this movie called “Cat” that seemed pretty cool. This is not a picture of the cat, but I tried to find a pic of the cat and this came up. HAHA

O. I guess the Goth look is back in style again.

P. She wore this t-shirt in the movie. Hot and true!

Q. I do like this poster a lot, but trust me, theaters do not have this hanging in the fuckin lobby.

4 responses to ““The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (2011 U.S. Verison) or “The Goth Girl with the Nancy Drew Boobies”- my fuckin review

  1. I’m am looking forward to this movie. I really did love the original though. I like the strange stark bleakness of it all and Lisbeth looked in her bag of fucks and couldn’t find a single one to give. I love that about her.
    I hope they make the two other movies. That whole parole officer storyline unfolds to bat shit crazy proportions.

  2. I like Daniel Craig and all, and Rooney Mara was pretty good, but this film was such a complete waste of time. The original was as good as it gets, all 3 of the trilogy. I found myself hooked and horrified by the story and watched all 3 of the original trilogy and then read all 3 of the books. All of it great. This new film was simply boring, not because I knew the story, but the whole thing was just a mess. I found myself fast forwarding thru 95% of it. Hey filmmakers, stop picking some of the best european films and then simply pissing all over them with hollywood urine.

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