“Straw Dogs” (2011) or “Shit Dogs” -my fuckin review

I watched just watched “Straw Dogs” (the 2011 version, this is a remake) with Matt G. and Tristan T. and here is my movie review. The film starts off with this rich married couple (James Marsden and Kate Bosworth) coming from L.A. to Mississippi to live. They are rude and snippy but in love. When they get to Mississippi everyone that lives there is a fuckin asshole, redneck, mental retarded, or a drunk. I am not kidding this movie made Mississippi look it was the worst place to live on the fuckin planet. Maybe it is, hell I have never been there. If I was from Mississippi I would be pissed. Anyway Kate runs into her redneck ex-boyfriend who is Alexander Skarsgård, who is Swedish in real life and looks it, yet somehow we are supposed to believe he is redneck from Mississippi. Ok so everyone hates James and Kate because they are rich and rude, and James decides to hire Alexander and some other rednecks to fix his roof, and James is smart ass to them. Later James and Kate get into a fight so she goes upstairs and gets naked in a window so Alexander and his redneck friends can see her naked. What the fuck! This movie is pissing me off. Then later the rednecks lure James off so that Alexander can go rape Kate, even though at the end of the rape she starts making out with Alexander, until his friend comes and rapes her too. It was weird and I was like “UMMMMMMMMMMMM. Then she doesn’t tell her husband James, instead she is like let’s go to a football game. WHAT THE FUCK! At the game the mentally retarded guy kills some 15-year-old girl he is in love with in some weird as sub plot, and then James and Kate end up taking him home to protect him because he is hurt. Then Alexander and the rednecks come to their house for some lame ass show down. This movie is god damn mess. I just kept saying “Whattttttttt?” All the characters from Mississippi looked like assholes and made me never want to go that state ever. James and Kate’s character were just two stupid ass white people doing stupid ass white shit. Everything about this movie was forgettable including the score. It was generic trash. Kate Bosworth looked like she was wearing a fucking straw dog wig. Alexander Skarsgard looked like fuckin Frankenstein next to James Marsden. Everyone came across like a dumb ass. So if you are into incoherent redneck plots about Mississippi then this movie is for you. This movie is shit.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The trailer makes it look like the movie “The Strangers“, it is not. Although that movie is about dumb ass white bitches too.

B. Don’t be rude to people in small redneck towns or they will rape or kill you.

C. Just because you are white it doesn’t mean that you are safe from all things in the world.

D. Alexander doesn’t make a believable rapist. Let’s be real. Frankenstein yes, but with makeup.

E. The Director was Rod Lurie. Blah.

F. “OH MY GOD WE ARE WHITE AND DUMB!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO??????????”

G. Kate your hair looked like shit. Dried out shit.

H. The mentally retarded guy was miscast by Dominic Purcell. This made no sense to me either.

I. The score was composed by Larry Groupé, and there is literally nothing he has done that is worth a shit.

J. Town drunk James Woods.

K. This movie really is a waste of time.

L. I thought James character was blind until he took these glasses off.

M. Haha everyone has a breaking point. haha In this movie it took them bringing home a mentally retarded 40-year-old with a broken arm to reach their breaking point. It didn’t matter that his wife was raped.

10 responses to ““Straw Dogs” (2011) or “Shit Dogs” -my fuckin review

  1. The original isn’t much of a treat either. Good to see James Woods doing something, anything. You’d think in today’s age of high end cable shows like Dexter, Boardwalk Empire, Justified, etc, that James Woods would have something going on.

  2. Just saw this stupid movie tonite and wondered if anyone else hated it. I found this site and read your review. I laughed so hard that I could hardly breathe. I agree with everything you said, and I spit out my water when I read the part where you said it looks like Kate was wearing a straw dog wig. Your review is pure genius.

  3. This movie is pure shite. Like is says above, WHY would the wife expose herself to the locals? WHY would she not mention she has been raped? WHY would they stay there knowing the locals hate them? I’ve heard of straight-to-DVD. This is ‘straight in the toilet’.

    • However may be worth watching just for James Woods’ authentic portrayal of a tough, humorous drunkard. Maybe his moral weakness for the bar pushed his young daughter to go for the gentle ‘retarded’ man and that’s why he hates the man so much? Maybe that subplot was the core message of the movie and the rest of it was just a vehicle.

      • Also, the main character, the husband, is uninterested in religion and his wife’s cultural background. His writer’s sensitivity does not extend to present interest in the forces working in the minds of the people around him and so his indifference and ignorance is matched ten-fold by the community he denies. Moral: Fit in or fuck off.

  4. I have changed my mind. This is probably the best movie I have ever seen with layer on layer of message wrapped in enigmas, Congratulations to the director and all the cast on a tour de force and especially the woman for showing her breasts.

  5. Hahahahahaha. I liked the movie but when she undressed in front of the recknecks and went to the football game after she was raped I was sure as hell thinking WTF too. Also Frankenstein next to James. So true. Your review is hilarious.

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