“Contagion” or “We Are All Going To Fuckin Die From Shaking Hands!”- my fuckin review

I finally got to watch “Contagion” and here is the movie review. I wished I would have seen it in the theatre though. OK so the movie starts off with Gwyneth Paltrow and she is in Hong Kong or somewhere and is getting sick as fuck. She then takes her sick ass on a plane to get home to see her boo boo monkey Matt Damon back in the states. Before she does that she stops and has an affair with someone, I think. When Gwyneth get home she is more sick and falls the fuck over. Meanwhile she has spread this shit all over the globe by touching people on the plane, the airport, lovers, her family, the hospital. She has got mega herpes and it’s killing everyone all over the fucking planet. Thanks Gwyneth. Now Laurence Fishburne down in Hotlanta is running the CDC and talking about we are all fucked. Then Jude Law is running a blog trying to preach the truth about the virus. Thousands more die all over the fuckin globe. Kate Winslet tries to help but this shit is out of control. Nice try Kate. In the end the world goes to shit, there is chaos in the streets, dogs and cats are living together. Ok so I loved this feel good movie, it had everything I wanted. I love apocalyptic films, especially if they are honest. This film tried to show you what would happen if a new virus popped off in the world. Real life is fuckin scary, or as I like to call it heart warming. Although there are a shit load of Hollywood stars in this film, I never felt like anyone was a star in it. They kill people off left and right, no matter if they were pretty or not. The film really does as great job at showing you how you can infect people with your germs daily by touch. It makes you want to run away from humans cuz they all nasty!  The score was pretty amazing too, and at times it felt like I was watching musical death montages. Loved that shit! You should watch this film and buy some gloves and mask after. I already own that shit prior to this film. Thanks! So if you love Gwyneth P., super herpes, multiple stories around the world, THE GWYNETH SHAKE, people looking sick as shit, and you never want to touch anyone every again then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. This movie really makes you not want to touch anyone again.

B. I love the score to this fucking movie. It was composed by Cliff Martinez. Here is a track.

D. I am into virus’s. My film company is named Ebola Entertainment. You figure it out!

E. Gurrrrrrl you don’t look so good.

F. Steven Soderbergh directed this movie.

G. MATTTTTTTTTT! Don’t talk to me!

H. Another hot track.

I. I don’t eat pork. Fuck you. That shit is deadly.

J. I wish I could wear gloves and a mask all day.

K. I don’t want super herpes. I wonder if they were trying to say Gwyneth was a ho in this movie and caused the world to end by sleeping with that dude.

L. Here is a video I made from my favorite scene from the movie. It’s a music video called THE GWYNETH SHAKE. Enjoy. Haha

M. Turns out the Government is not bad in this movie. I liked that. I mean shit they tried.

N. I want this fuckin poster so bad now!

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