“Real Steel” or “The Robots Had No Souls, Oops I Mean Hugh Jackman Didn’t”- my fuckin review

I watched “Real Steel” with Max Fisher the other night and here is the movie review.  The film starts off with Hugh Jackman remote controlling a giant robot at a shitty little country fair. The giant robot is fighting a bull for the audience. What the fuck is already happening. THERE IS A GIANT ASS ROBOT THROWING A BULL AROUND! Anyway Hugh is broke as fuck and the robot gets trashed. So he goes back to his girlfriend/not girlfriend Kate from “Lost”. There he is rude and mean to her and then his long-lost son shows up, and Hugh hates him and treats him like shit. He only allows the kid to live with him because he gets money from the kids Uncle to keep him. Now he has money to buy a new robot and still hates the kid, but takes him to the real version of the game Rock’em Sock’em Robots. Hughes new robot sucks and they eventually end up in a junk yard where they find a bootleg bot to use. The kid loves the new shit bot and they dance together. In the end you figure it out, somebody wins, and father and son get along. Ok here is the thing it is supposed to be the future and the only thing futuristic in this movie are the robots. That’s it! NO future cars, clothes, building or anything. BULL SHIT! Also I am disappointed that the robots had NO personalities and didn’t talk, they are just big pretty remote controlled trash cans. Who gives a fuck if a trash can wins or loses. Not me! Fuck a trash can. Hugh is really shitty to that kid, which I guess seems real, but it made me laugh. The kid has a pig nose and somehow knows the answers to everything about life at 10 years old. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Well if you like the game Rock’em Sock’em Robots, Hugh Jackman, and a future that looks like 1995 then this movie is for your. I was bored with the forced emotion from the humans and no emotion from the robots.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Evangeline Lilly was better on “Lost“. She pretty much did this the whole movie.

B. They taught the robot to dance, but honestly I think I would’ve rather seen the robots do a fuckin dance off. That would be cooler. 20 seconds into this clip WATCH.

C. Here is Hugh hitting on his son and also a pic of his son’s pig nose.

D. Danny Elfman’s score sounded like boring triumphant trash. I was disappointed.

E. This song should have been played in the opening credits.

F. Here is Hugh yelling at a robot that doesn’t understand him because they couldn’t think or feel.

G. Don’t tell me it’s the future but everyone looks 1995.

H. They played Eminem too much. I felt like the robots were going to a fuckin rap battle. I guess Eminem is fuckin retro in the future.

I. I love robots but these bored me.

J. This poster is poot-nasty.

4 responses to ““Real Steel” or “The Robots Had No Souls, Oops I Mean Hugh Jackman Didn’t”- my fuckin review

  1. Is rather childish as review…I would add that: Real Steel is one of the movies that have grossed more in 2011 and has received a lot of positive reviews worldwide including from prestigious critics like Variety (critics have also praised Jackman’s acting too) Has been #1 at the U.S. Box Office for 2 consecutive weeks, then blockbuster worldwide http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=main&id=realsteel.htm Nominated to the Oscars (Visual Effects) and now #1 top DVD/Blu-ray Disc rental and sales http://tinyurl.com/75sth9d Real Steel work team is composed by Steven Spielberg, Bob Zemeckis (producers) and Richard Matheson (screenplay) Actually, the movie is based on a short story written by Matheson in 1956, called Steel: http://tinyurl.com/6anntby not on Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots.

    • Haha Yay go Real Steel! I am happy for them all. Thanks for reading the review and taking the time tell me how amazing it was and that the amount of money a film makes really means how awesome it is. I also don’t read other reviews or look how much the movie makes to write a review for it. I just write for the network I work for. Have a great robo day.

  2. I’d like to add that if I were in the third grade and saw this trailer, this would be THE movie I would want to see. So now it’s especially disturbing to hear the family element of the movie is treated so trashy. As much money as this movie made, they really went out of there way to fuck it up.

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