“Oz the Great and Powerful” or “Gettin High With Franco in Oz” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Oz the Great and Powerful“. Okay so I wish they would have made a prequel to “The Wiz” and not the “The Wizard of Oz“. That being said, here we go. Okay the movie starts off with James Franco (sorry, it was like hanging with James the whole time not Oz, which is fine with me) in black and white at a circus, and he is also man whore. A tornado comes and takes his ass away while trying to escape in a hot air balloon, and this sends him to the magical mother fuckin world of Oz. Then the movie turns back to color and Mila Kunis (Theodora) shows up in a giant fuckin red hat. I got confused on where and what the fuck the land of Oz is? Is he still on earth? Is it an alternate universe? Also why is this place named after James Franco’s character Oz? Anyway James is now hitting on Mila and making out with her and shit. I think they may have banged each other but it faded to black. Later they run into a bellhop monkey and he hangs with them. Then they run into Mila’s sister Rachel Weisz (Evanora), and she sends James Franco to kill the wicked witch who has been tormenting their lands and shit. He hits on Rachel before he leaves to do that. Along the way he runs into Michelle Williams (Glinda) the good witch, and she is all bubbles (To quote Kevin Vickery, it means dingy as fuck), but she decides to help him. He flirts with her too. Eventually after hitting on all the women in the movie James has to decide if he is a good person or not and save Oz. Remember he is not a real wizard so he has to think of something to do to help or not help the people of the Emerald City. In the end there is a big ass show down of witches and James Franco. Okay so I did like this movie, but I didn’t love it. It was a fun, for a one time watch. Honestly if James Franco had not been in it, then it would have been worse. I think because sometimes in the movie he does look like he is high as a kite standing in front of a green screen is what makes it fun. Now what I really mean is that he is having fun with the roles he is given, I know he is not really high (all the time). He just seems like he is your best friend and he is always cool to be around. So when you see your best friend in a movie, you like it by default. I also liked the CGI monkey and thought he was funny. Mila as a witch was a littler forced and weird, but shit I am just glad to see a green witch on film again. The problem is that the character Oz comes to Oz and there are all these powerful female witches with real powers and they just stand around waiting on a man (with no powers) to tell them what to do and wait on him to save them. UMMMMMM you are fuckin witches, I would turn his ass into a toad and step on him. Nobody should be telling a witch what to do anyway. So if you are a witch or a woman get ready to roll your eyes in this film. It was really just a fun PG movie that clearly you should not think too much about. So if you like James Franco, witches, brooms, Mila, talking monkeys, magic, green screens, an PG Sam Raimi then this films is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. James Franco can do no wrong. How can a person who is the world’s best friend do wrong? Think of your real best friend right now and picture him/her in a movie. See, you are happy and would love them in anything. James Franco: The Earth’s best friend. He has also acted in 80 different films/TV shows.

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Here are pics James Franco took with his Oz doll.

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B. If I was a female witch I would have walked out during the movie.

C. The Lion, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, and Dorothy are not in this movie.

D. Mila Kunis as a witch hmmmm. Her head looked big as fuck.

E. If you are witch then what good is a regular man with no powers to you? He ain’t shit!

F. I want this monkey stuffed animal from the movie.

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H. I miss the lion.

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I. Bruce Campbell was a doorman in this movie. He was good. haha

J. There was a Sam Raimi montage in this movie. I am fine with that.

K. Danny Elfman score was okay, nothing super amazing.

L. The Wiz makes more sense to me.

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The lion singing is the best shit I have ever seen!

M. Mila as a witch was weird, but at least she was green with a pointy hat. She still let a man ruin and run her life.

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