“Iron Man 3” or “Pepper Potts 3” my fuckin review

My movie review for “Iron Man 3“. Ok finally Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) is back in a whole new adventure. She is still dating Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), who is this rich guy who makes robot suits, and now she is trying to juggle being a businesswoman and also date an eccentric billionaire. Now there is a new bad guy in town that wants to come between them called The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley). He eventually does come between them and blows this shit out of their crib and Pepper and Tony get separated. Tony ends up across the country dealing with some little kid and having panic attacks and Pepper is left to pick up the pieces of their house and shattered lives. Later Pepper teams up with one of Tony’s ex’s and feels pretty awkward about it. So she goes and visits her mom Annie Potts to get advice about her relationship. In the end Pepper is better looking in an Iron Man suit than Tony and can also start fires and melt shit with her hands. Pepper saves the day an all is well in Iron Land. Okay so this movie was entertaining and fun, but I didn’t love it. I do love the concept of Iron Man though, but in these movies something seems off to me every time. I was joking above, but Gwyneth was in this jam a lot and Robert was not in the Iron Man suit a lot. There are literally a shit ton of Iron Men running around with nobody inside the fuckin suits. So I guess they are just robots now. I was okay with Gwyneth being a hero too in this film, but the bad guys in it sucked. The Mandarin was cool and funny, but as a “bad” guy, he sucked. There were other villains but they bored the shit out of me. The score (I know you are rolling your eyes, but the score is very important to a film. Especially a super hero movie) was boring and generic and could have been taken out of this movie and put into the Thor movie and you wouldn’t have known it was from Iron Man. It sounds like interchangeable disposable score. It was composed by Brian Tyler if you are interested. My favorite part of the film was the “Air force One people ejected out the ass end of the plane” scene. I thought it was going to be the big “every Iron Man costume shows up to fight” scene, but that shit was a confusing mess. If you are looking for a fun, one time watch then you will get into this jam. So if you love Iron Man, Iron Woman, Gwyneth P., Robert D., robots, Tony without his suit on, Don Cheadle, and another shitty Iron Man villain then this movie is for you. It was cute and fun, but I wouldn’t want to watch it again.  Iron Man did cooler shit in “The Avengers” movie. Also get ready for Iron Man 4.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. PEPPPPERRRRRR!

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B. This film was directed by Shane Black (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang ).

C. If you invite bad guys to your home they will come blow it up bitch.

D. This was my favorite Iron Man suit or Robot or whatever.

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E. Honestly all the villains in all 3 Iron Man films bored me.

F. Tony about to bottom for one of his Iron Men suits.

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G. I wish Pepper was the real hero of these films.

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H. Look at them on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Also look how horrible this Photoshop is.

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I. I wish this was theme song for the Iron Man movies.

Instead it was this song by Eiffel 65.

J. I do like Robert D. though. He seems real to me in these movies and also in this picture.

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K. Tony was jumping in and out of suits so fast at one point I thought he was going get knocked out, and now he can control the suits and where they go by voguing. So Madonna can also control his suits. Also if you fall into a metal suit it will probably break your face and dick.

L. A picture of Pepper Potts in her Iron Man suit.

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M. Pepper’s mom Annie.

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N. Haha this poster.

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