“The Great Gatsby” or “The Weird Ass Gatsby”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Great Gatsby“. Okay so the story starts off with Tobey in a nut house in the future and telling his story on how he knows that Gatsby. He met that Gatsby in New York in the 1920’s and is his neighbor. Gatsby is rich as fuck and throws big ass parties and everyone is drunk and dancing that flapper dance. Then they all drive drunk.  There is this one bitch that Gatsby has his eyes on, and it’s Tobey’s cousin Carey Mulligan, but it turns out Carrie and Gatsby used to date back in the day. Then they all drive drunk. Now Carrie is married and has a kid and shit, but Gatsby still wants up in that ass again. Meanwhile Tobey is in love with Gatsby. Gatsby and Carrie final get it on again, but she is still married. We call that adultery today. They all end up getting in a huge ass fight and drive home drunk and run over some hooker that Carrie’s husband is cheating with. Everybody cheats in this movie, and it’s okay with them. Now Gatsby and Carrie are involved in a hit and run, but they don’t seemed very concerned. I guess because the girl they hit was a flapper hooker and everyone drives drunk. In the end Carrie turns out to be a mega bitch and drives away drunk. Okay so I did like this movie, but I didn’t love it. It’s crazy as Christmas and over-the-top and yes, it will take you a minute to adjust to shit you are seeing. They even play today’s hottest tracks in scenes and not 1920’s jazz. At first I thought I would hate this but I didn’t mind because it fit this film. Leo really is a great actor and I really enjoy him in movies, especially when his ass is screaming and yelling at tricks. Tobey was good as the goofy stalker of Gatsby too. So if you are looking for a Koo koo ass 1920’s ride and love Leo, Tobey, flappers, Jay-Z, over dramatic ass stories, and driving drunk then this is the movie for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Baz Luhrmann (Romeo + JulietMoulin Rouge!Australia) popped this movie off.

B. I want to go to this fuckin party!

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D. One girl said she didn’t drink, she just took nerve pills.

E. Leonardo DiCaprio really is a good bitch.

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F. My favorite part in this movie was when it cut to this car and they were driving and drinking and listening to JAY-Z’s “Izzo”.

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Play the video and watch the image from above.

G. They kicked a lot in the 20’s.

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H. Tobey Maguire plays shit real and goofy. I like that.

tobey-maguire-as-nick-carraway-in-the-great

I. Everyone really did swerve all of the fuckin roads in their cars. I think they really were all drunk. When I left the theater and drove home I swerved a lot, just for kicks.

J. What a Bitch, but I still like her.

Carey Mulligan

K.  Here is a video of Leo yelling. He yells his ass off in every movie. I love it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/07/leonardo-dicaprio-yelling_n_3224247.html

L. I wish there was 1920’s club here. Also DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS, even in the 1920’s.

M. LEO, in front of a giant Hellraiser puzzle box.

Hellraiser box poster

67l3q0 copy copy

Real Poster

great-gatsby-poster

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