“Pacific Rim” or “Giant Monsters Fucking Giant Robots”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Pacific Rim“. The movie starts off and giant monsters have been attacked earth for a while. They came out of some dimensional gateway thing at the bottom of the ocean. So humans built giant ass robots called Jaegermeisters to fuck them up. The robots do not transform, but they have big ass fists and can punch shit. The drivers of the robots are connected to each other mentally so that they can fight better and they will know what porn their partner looks at in private. The worlds Governments eventually say fuck this robo program in favor of giant walls that protect cities across the planet from the monsters, but that shit goes ass up. Then it’s back to the giant robots, Charlie Day as a scientist, Ron Perlman as an enema, and a bunch characters discussing how to stop monsters. Okay so I really dug the fun of the giant robots and monsters fighting, and they looked real as fuck. In IMAX 3D they were loud and colossal and that was amazing. The characters dialogue was limp and you just kept waiting for them to cut back to the monsters fighting. I would have been okay if humanity died at the end of this movie, because they were boring. What I liked about it may not even transcend to a regular television screen. How big and loud can it be on a TV screen compared to IMAX? Will it just look like another SYFY Channel original when it’s shrunken down onto a small TV? I mean shit the dialogue was the same as one of their TV movies. In the end kids will dig this, and adults will wish they were kids so they can enjoy it more. It really is just a giant Rock’em Sock’em Robots game on-screen. So if you love giant robots, giant monsters, wooden acting, forced over the top characters, bad score, amazing effects, Ron Perlman’s funky ass face, and water then this is the movie for you. It was fun to watch once in IMAX 3D. You will have fun watching it that way too.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I would rather be in a giant Transformer fighting monsters.

B. This robot was cool, but not in it very long. He was my favorite.

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C. I wanted different color monsters, but he was cool.

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D. The monsters and robots fighting looked real as fuck.

E. The people did not seem real as fuck (Diego Klattenhoff).

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F. The score was one of the worst scores this year. It sounded like a bad TV show on SYFY. Listen here.

G. See this movie in IMAX 3D for the coolest experience. If you wait for Television you will be disappointed.

H. I wish she was Knives Chau (Rinko Kikuchi).

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I. Guillermo del Toro directed this movie (MimicThe Devil’s BackboneBlade IIHellboyPan’s Labyrinth). I liked Blade 2.

J. Ron Perlman makes me sick.

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K. Everyone I know said “Pacific Rim Job” while talking about this movie.

L. Giant ass robots on posters are always hot.

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