“The Conjuring” or “Scary Ass Ghosts, Demons and Witches”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for the movie “The Conjuring“. Okay so this movie is about my personal heroes THE WARRENS. I have followed and known who Ed and Lorraine Warren were since I was very little. They are basically the who’s who of ghost hunters. They have been everywhere including Amityville (Horror). If they say something then I believe them and would listen to them. The have been around the block 3 times bitch. That being said this movie is based on a true story about one of their cases in 1971. The movie starts out on the Warrens at another scary ass case of theirs about a fucked up doll named Annabelle. This shit scares the fuck out of me. Then it cuts to the main story about a family moving into a new home and then shit starts to pop off. All kinds of scary ass shit pops off! There are spooky ass ghosts, witches and demons that live up in this haunted house. In the end all hell breaks loose and The Warrens have to shut that Satanic party down. Okay I was hoping it was going to be good, but it turned out to be amazing. I loved it. It was scary and it was like this cool bio tribute to Ed and Lorraine Warren. I feel like the director James Wan has figured out how to make a scary movie that you will take home with you and not sleep over. He keeps it simple and loses all the CGI monster bullshit. He keeps it real with actors in ghost costumes. That shit is scary. CGI doesn’t scare me, or anyone for that matter. We know that CGI shit is fake. There are a few ghosts in this movie floating around and few back story demons too. They did a great job of showing the Warrens home life as well as the family in the haunted house. The score was on point and kept you jumping (Horror scores are tricky and this one was scary). That witch in it will give you fuckin nightmares. Vera FarmigaPatrick Wilson, and Lili Taylor are all fuckin amazing in this movie and sold the shit out of it. This movie is fuckin rated R for terror! SAY WHATTTTTT!!!!!!!! It’s also a great throw back to 70’s and 80’s horror movies like “Poltergeist” and “The Amityville Horror“. So if you love haunted houses, movies based on true stories, Ed and Lorraine Warren, Spooky dolls, witches, demons, ghosts, possessions, and screaming then this is the movie for you. I loved it and have seen it twice already. I will buy this shit on Blu Ray. Seriously go check this movie out. This movie is a keeper.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A.  I don’t fuck with witches.

B. Vera Farmiga is amazing as Lorraine Warren and this outfit is legit!

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C. Joseph Bishara composed the score (Insidious,Dark SkiesInsidious: Chapter 2). I love his scores. On a side note he plays both witches in Insidious and The Conjuring. Yes, he is male.

D. Lili Taylor gets beat the fuck up. She is the shit!

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E. This movie was directed by James Wan (SawInsidiousInsidious: Chapter 2Fast & Furious 7).

F. The Warrens are not to be fucked with. They are the real deal and I love them. Ed the world misses you and here is a picture of Lorraine in their museum of things that are evil and fucked up. These demonic trinkets are from cases they have solved. Here is their website also http://www.warrens.net/

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G. If you are a white family moving into a new house with teen girls and you want to renovate that house.  YOU ARE FUCKED!

H. Patrick Wilson is becoming a horror hero!

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I. This guy behind me in the theater keep saying “This shit is in my heart”, because he was so scared. People were screaming all around me.

J. Haunted houses scare me but I also want to own one.

K. It was number 1 opening weekend. So I hope they make more.

L. After the movie this happened to us.

M. I want to live in this poster.

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4 thoughts on ““The Conjuring” or “Scary Ass Ghosts, Demons and Witches”- my fuckin review

  1. Based on a true story? Come on. Its about as true as santa clause or jesus. Exercisms and witch hunts?

    -two thumbs down. “Dumbest movie of the year”

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