“12 Years A Slave” or “Go Watch This Movie You Racist Bitch!”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “12 Years a Slave“.  Okay so this true story starts of with a man named Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and he is a free man living in pre-Civil War New York . He has a wife and 2 children and is happy until he is drugged and then sold into slavery. Every day for the next 12 years he is beaten and suffers horrible cruelty from a white slave owner played by Michael Fassbender. The slave owner is a bitch. Eventually he meets a Canadian abolitionist played by Brad Pitt, who tries help him become a free man again. Okay I liked this movie a lot and for many reason really. The first being it was shot well, there are 2 amazing scenes that stood out to me. One is where Solomon is being hung and they do not cut away from it for several minutes. Yes, this is horrible, but having it play long on-screen for a few minutes allows you to feel the impact of this act and how scary and fucked up shit was back then. There is also another shot towards the end that is just a close up of Solomon. His eyes are watering and red, and he is scared, confused and lost. He doesn’t say anything here but the camera just stays on him for a while. His character knows that there is nothing he can do for himself or anyone else. He then looks over at the camera briefly and is staring at you in the audience, and you realize there is nothing you can do to help him either. It’s honest, real and fucked up. The acting was amazing and they all did amazing jobs. Chiwetel Ejiofor needs an Oscar. The score (by Hans Zimmer) surprised me and there was one piece of music that played when Solomon was on a slave boat. It was different and unexpected for this type of film, which is why it was incredible. What I liked the most about it was that when I walked in I thought 2 things……

1. This is going to be fucked up.

2. He will be treated horribly in this film.

I believed that is all I would think coming out of the movie before I watched it. What was interesting/smart was how it’s not just about Solomon being a slave and being tortured. It is about how he really can’t help anyone else in the film from being tortured or beaten either. He could only stand there and watch the people around him suffer and die and there is nothing he could do about it. He wants to get back to his family and survive, and to do this you had to be quiet and pretend not to be intelligent. There is a character named Patsey (Lupita Nyong’o) who is being tortured and raped and if he tries to protect her he will be tortured or killed. It’s fucked up, and having to deal with this on a daily basis would drive any human insane.  So you should see this movie, in fact it should be required viewing in High School history classes. Not a cleaned up version either. People need to see the horror of shit, so that things like this will never happen again. It’s important you see this movie and yes, be depressed and think about it. Maybe someone will see it and wake up and change their way of thinking. Go see this movie and watch it with someone and talk about it after.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Humans do some really horrible shit to other humans on this planet.

B. There was this amazing shot in the film toward the end where he was just staring in a close up. It was long, amazing and sad. It said a billion different things. AMAZING!

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C. Go take people to see this movie.

D. Michael Fassbender did a great job as the shitty slave owner.

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E. Public Schools should show this movie in History classes or take your kids to see. Yes, yo kids.

F. Lupita Nyong’o was amazing in this movie.

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G. Here is some History for you. “Slavery in America began when the first African slaves were brought to the North American colony of Jamestown, Virginia, in 1619. The American Civil War took place 1861-1865. Though the Union victory freed the nation’s 4 million slaves, the legacy of slavery continued to influence American history, from the tumultuous years of Reconstruction (1865-77) to the civil rights movement that emerged in the 1960s, a century after emancipation.”

So lets break that down for the racist kids.

There were slaves for 258 years in this country (roughly).

African-Americans were still dealing with civil rights for 83 years (roughly).

Grand Total: 341 years (Not counting the shit after the 60’s).

THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY ONE YEARS!  If you are white and in America shut the fuck up about everything ever. I heard someone say “They need to get over it”. I will never get over it and I am not African-American. How the fuck do you get over 341 years. Call my ass in  the year 2341 maybe I will start to get over that shit then. So nobody is near getting over shit.

H. Brad Pitt is always Brad Pitt to me, no matter who he plays. He did produce this and help get this movie made so props to him. Also he looks Amish in this movie.

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I. The director is Steve McQueen, he also directed “Shame“. I have enjoyed both his big Hollywood movies.

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J. The piece of score I was talking about.

K. This poster is sad and real.

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