“Her” or “Banging A Computer” – my fuckin review.

Here is my review for “Her“. Okay so the movie starts off with River Phoenix‘s brother who is depressed and lonely in the future. He wants to be in love but dresses weird as fuck and has a horrible mustache. He then signs up for online dating, but it’s an artificial intelligence operating system instead of a human with boobies. Think long distance dating over the phone but you don’t know what they look like. P.S. Long distance dating never works. So River’s brother falls in love over the phone with his OS (Scarlett Johansson). They laugh and shit and he walks around the city talking to her on the phone and jerks off with her too. They fall in love, but remember she has no body. Eventually she joins other OS’s and they form Skynet and they destroy the world together. Okay so this movie was fun and cute, and I could totally date a computer too. Unless that shit is calling me all day on speed dial. I do however need something to look at, even if they send a fake picture of that ass. It really is an interesting movie and you feel you bad for Joaquin Phoenix‘s ass by the end . As I watched the movie I kept thinking “Oh shit she is going to kill him somehow” or “She can see him through cameras and shit”. I thought it was going to turn into a horror movie the whole time. It did not. So if you love Spike Jonze, Joaquin Phonex, phone sex with Scarlett Johansson, people talking on the phone, weird love stories, and computers then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Ummmm they have all this technology, can’t you plug her ass into a robot body with a built-in flesh light for love?

B. The fashion of the future is ass.

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This is what they should have been wearing!

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C. I would bang a computer if it told me it loved me.

D. Jealous computers are scary. Also this should have been the movie’s theme song.

E. What is this?

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F. Dating long distance does not work. Out of sight, out looking to get laid.

E. I would date Soundwave. Is that the same thing?

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F. Siri told me this shit. What the fuck!

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G. I hope the sequel is called “Him” or “Them”. I would date multiple OS’s.

H. The poster.

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