“The Amazing Spider-Man 2” or “The Not Amazing Spider-Mess 2” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Amazing Spider-Man 2“. Spider-Man is back and this time they are still talking about his origin story. He parents were killed by Oscorp etc. He is still dating Gwen Stefani, but they break up a lot because he keeps seeing the ghost of Denis Leary. Then Jamie Foxx shows up as an ugly nerd who loves Spider-Man, then gets bitten by some magical eels that turns his ass into Electro. Meanwhile Harry Osborn is back in town and takes over Oscorp. He is sick with Green Goblin juice or some shit and needs Spider-Man’s blood to get better. Now the plot thickens as we find out Aunt May has a new job as nurse. Later Spider-Man says a bunch of silly shit and then cries in between that. Then Gwen is tired of dating a 10 Year old Super hero so she says I am going to college. Spider-Man and Harry find out they are not best friends anymore cuz they are 2o now and they have not seen each other since they were 10. In the end Electro and Spider-Man fight, then Spider-Man and the Green Goblin fight, then Spider-Man and Rhinox from Beast Wars: Transformers fight. So Yeah this movie is all over the place and is a fuckin mess. I dig Spider-Man but these movies are silly and do not make comic book movie sense. Yes, that’s different from real world sense. The actors are all amazing in other movies and their lines in this movie are trash. The score was junk. The storyline is dingy and I am a bigger fan of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films now that I have seen this one. So if you love Spider-Man, Electro, Green Goblin, and want to see good actors say stupid shit this is the movie for you. I will never watch it again. I didn’t hate it, hating shit makes it matter more. It don’t matter. Make 10 more who cares.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The writers are Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci. Yes, they are terrible and have written such fuckin gems as the upcoming The Amazing Spider-Man 3,  and Venom. Also these winners Star Trek Into DarknessCowboys & AliensTransformers: Revenge of the FallenThe Legend of Zorro,  and The Island

 Marc Webb Directed it and he did The Amazing Spider-ManMy Chemical Romance May Death Never Stop You(500) Days of SummerJesse McCartney: Up Close3 Doors Down: Away from the Sun.

B. Every line Jamie Foxx said in this movie was terrible and silly. Also he just showed up in this special suit made for him but we can’t figure out where he got it from. It had a lighting lot on the sleeve too.

Electro_2
He says some line about being his birthday and blowing out the candles before he attacks. IT IS HORRIBLE!
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He also looked like Mr. Freeze

C. People died in this movie and it doesn’t matter because you could care less about them. You want everyone to die.

D. Spider-Man is either being a silly kid or crying about something in this movie (He may be this way in the comic book, but on film it’s a mess). He needs to be on meds.

E. Aunt May’s storyline is that she has a job as nurse now and it doesn’t fuckin matter. It has nothing to do with the story. I guess they had to give Sally Field more screen time. It was stupid.

F. The Green Goblin’s makeup is shit.

The-Amazing-Spider-Man-2-Green-Goblin-550x414

10001356_10152394267534819_8684806341633114514_n
He looks the elf from the movie LEGEND all grown up and drunk.

G. The Rhino is a joke and looks like Rhinox from Beast War Transformers.

beast_wars_transformers_wallpaper_2-normal

H. Peter Parker’s parents storyline is long-winded and boring. So what, who cares!

I. The score was horrible. Composed by Johnny Marr (lead guitarist with the British rock band The Smiths), Pharrell Williams and Hans Zimmer. So it’s a cluster fuck.

J. The doctor at the Ravencroft prison seemed like something out of “Batman Forever“. It’s shit in other words.

K. Dane DeHaan was great in this until they put him in that stupid ass makeup.

dane-dehaan-amazing-spider-man-2
Leo DiCaprio’s little brother.

L. The bad guys love Spider-Man at first, then they hate him in a nano second. It happened so fast it doesn’t make sense. One minute Spider-Man is talking to Electro buddy-buddy style and the next Electro is like “Hate you gurlll”. Later Harry is like I love Spider-Man, then Spider-Man didn’t give him any blood, so he starts screaming “I hate you bitchhhh”. I mean I guess they are crazy or bipolar or whatever.

M. Andrew Garfield, Sally Field, Emma Stone, Dane DeHaan, and Jamie Foxx are all amazing actors. In this movie they are silly, dumb, and kid like.

Matthew Tolmach, Marc Webb, Jamie Foxx, Emma Stone, Andrew Garfield, Dane DeHaan and Avi Arad

N. Maybe this movie is made for 10 year olds only.

O. In the movie Spider-Man’s ringtone is the Spider-Man theme song. So he would’ve had to buy his own theme song on iTunes, that somebody made who must have watched the cartoon that is not made in the universe he leaves in.

P. They played this sing in the movie. hahahaha

Q. Is Tobey better or Andrew better as Spider-Man? Toby has better lines and Andrew is stuck with shit. Seriously go back and watch those Spider-Man movies and then appreciate how much fun and smart those were.

R. Best friends.

Amazing-Spider-Man-2-Peter-Parker-Harry-Osborn
#sorrynotbestfriends

S. Go watch the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films and skip this. Even Spider-Man 3 is better than this one.

T. Here is my review for the first “The Amazing Spider-Man

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/the-amazing-spider-man-or-the-just-okay-spider-man-my-fuck-review/

T. The poster is 3 posters.

the_amazing_spider_man_2_movie_poster_wallpaper_by_professoradagio-d6xl25b

 

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