“X-Men: Days of Future Past ” or “X-Men Greatest Hits: Be Kind Rewind”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “X-Men: Days of Future Past“. Okay so there have been a bunch of X-Men movies X-Men, X-Men 2 X-Men: The Last StandX-Men Origins: WolverineX-Men: First ClassThe Wolverine, xXx. So we get it and we know who they are and shit. This one is a sequel to all of them, so it has the old cast and the new hoes. It’s a greatest fuckin hits bitch. This one starts off in the future, when they are old and the world is shit and robots are flying around trying to call all mutants. It could be today’s date. I am not sure. So the gang decides to send Wolverine back to 1973 because audiences love Hugh Jackman and can’t get enough of his ass (they show his actual ass in the movie too) I guess. Juno (Kitty Pryde) is back and she can still run through walls but this time she can send minds back in time. So she sends Wolverine’s mind back in time to his young body. Now Wolverine has to get the young Young Magneto and Young Charles (James McAvoy) back together so they can stop Mystique from killing Tyrion Lannister (Dr. Bolivar Trask) from “Game of Thrones. Then the chase is on, well a lot of long boring dialogue about hope, friendship, the future, the past, etc. They get the help of Quicksilver (Evan Peters) to break Magneto out of jail for killing JFK. Haha yep. Quicksilver was the best character in this movie, and he was only in it for 15 minutes. Lameeeeeee. Meanwhile more fight scenes with giant robots. In 1973?????? Ummmmmmm there were no giant robots in 1973. This is supposed to be reality based with mutants added in. Like JFK and other 1970’s references. Anyway there is another big showdown at the end. Okay so I liked this movie, but there were so many characters running around I didn’t know who to follow or like. It’s over kill. The score was also boring and forgettable by John OttmanBryan Singer is back as the Director and I can see him wanting to connect the old films (He did part 1 and 2) to the new films in one big megaverse. Which is a good idea, but maybe there was just too much going on. Haha fuckin Storm. If you love the X-Men movies and all the old characters then you will love listening to this greatest hits CD with a couple of hidden tracks at the end. If you love the new cast you will have fun with them too. If you think about it too much you will be confused and then angry. Quicksilver really was the most fun character this time. Go check it out and you will have fun watching it but you probably will not love it. Rogue’s scenes got deleted.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Mystique should have morphed into Trask, then filmed herself (as Trask) with Teen Boys nude. Then take that tape and give it to the news. That way Trask’s career would be ruined and the future would be saved. She would not have to kill anyone or start shit with the other X-Men. It worked for the Director.

http://www.people.com/article/x-men-director-bryan-singer-another-sexual-abuse-lawsuit

B. Quicksilver was the best character in this movie. He was fun and funny, and the way they shot his scene was great.

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Quicksilver eating a burger

X-Men-Days-of-Future-Past-Character-Poster-Quicksilver

C. Nicholas Hoult is cool. They should make a movie called “The Beast and Quicksilver Show”.

D. Young Magneto (Michael Fassbender) is the most believable and best acted character in these movies. You can see his dingy on this review https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/shame-or-michael-fassbenders-dick-is-huge-my-fuckin-review/

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E. Haha giant robots in 1973. We don’t even have that shit in 2014.

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F. The next movie is about Apocalypse and it takes place in the 80’s. I’m interested.

G. I mean her blue coochie is hanging out for the world to see. Especially when she kicks. What the fuck… gets some panties. I love Jennifer Lawrence playing her though.

x-men-days-of-future-past-mystique copy

Oh no gurrrrrl!

 

H. I am not even a fan of the cartoon but this theme song it amazing and catchy.

I. Stop forcing this shitty character on us. We hate him.

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J. Jean Grey will not go away.

K. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are lovers and I love that. I bet Patrick is a bottom.

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L. The poster sums up the movie. Too much shitting going and not enough time to care. Also the title for this movie is literally a fuckin mess. Nobody says it, they just X-Men cuz your title is assholes. “X-men: 70’s” would have worked better.

rs_634x939-140324091106-634.jennifer-lawrence-x-men.ls.32414

 

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