“Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” or “I LOVE THESE MONKEYS BITCH” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes“. This is the sequel to “Rise of the Planet of the Apes“. Also you don’t have to see the older “Planet of the Apes” movies to get these new ones. They are great but “Rise of” was a reboot. So watch that one and then this one. Okay so the movie takes place like 10 years after part 1. Humanity is fuckin apocalyptic shit hole and the monkeys have been living in the woods in peace while humanity fell apart. Caesar is their leader now and he is married with kids. Maurice is the school teacher and Koba is like the security. Everyone is happy as shit until the humans show up with guns and their bullshit ass problems. Humans love power and need the power coming from a nearby dam. The monkeys are like “Ummmmmm beat it creeps” but Caesar lived with James Franco in part 1 and says they aint all bad.  Koba hates humans and is like “FUCK THIS SHIT”. Everyone then goes ape shit and the battle is on. Monkeys with machine guns on horses, humans with bazookas, and everyone dying left and right. This movie is fucked up and sad. In the end you can’t wait for a part 3.

Okay so I love this movie a lot. They focus on the apes so much in this movie and that is amazing and what we paid to see. If I go to the zoo I don’t want to talk the fuckin caretakers for 2 hours, take me to the monkeys bitch! The emotions that the apes show each other and to the humans is amazing and Caesar and Kobo show more emotion in this movie than all the human performances I have seen this year. That’s right this CGI looks and feels real and they act better than most of Hollywood out together bitch. It really is shot well and looks real. Apes with guns is crazy and I love the message about the only thing Kobo learned from humans was hate so that it was he spreads. Caesar learned love and understanding from James Franco (they gave a shout out to him and said he was good man. TRUE) so that is what he spreads. The apes use a lot of sign language in this movie and I think that is incredible. You don’t always need words to speak bitch. The score was amazing and I put a sample below for that ass. Everything Maurice said I agreed with and I would marry him. So if you love Planet of the Apes, amazing acting, believable characters, action, a point, a message, realistic CGI, and monkeys talking then go see this movie ASAP. I will be seeing this movie in the theatre again and buying it on Blu Ray. I also want the toys! I wish they cursed more “Eat ape shit bitch”.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Matt Reeves directed this movie (Let Me InCloverfieldFelicity). He did a great job and I love “Let Me In” also.

B. Caesar (Andy Serkis) is amazing in this movie and I could watch him all day. You forget he is CGI after 2 seconds.1911084_10152340067139819_1380826373075723708_o

C. I love Keri Russell in anything. Even if I see her in Walmart.

D. Koba (Toby Kebbell) should get an Academy Fuckin Award.

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E. Watch two real chimps go and watch the movie and love it too. I would be afraid they had Ebola though.

http://bloody-disgusting.com/news/3303025/two-chimps-watched-dawn-planet-apes-theaters-cutest-thing-ever/

F. Kodi Smit-McPhee was the boy in “Let Me In” and “ParaNorman“. In this movie he can draw.

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G. Michael Giacchino is an amazing composer. There is even a hint of  Jerry Goldsmith (Planet of the Apes) in this new score.

H. Maurice is my hero and favorite monkey! He looks real as fuck. Also his movement is tight.

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I. Rocket is a good dad. Monkey see, monkey do.

J. There was a big gorilla that didn’t have a name. I think her name was “Becky” though.

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K. Judy Greer plays Cornelia. They could have given Caesar a prettier wife monkey. Judy is hot this monkey is not.

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L. I can’t wait for the third. These movies are so much fun to watch. I hope the next one has a better title though. These first 2 titles are long and confusing. They should call the 3rd one “Monkey War” or “Monkey Hustle” or “Monkey Party”.

M. The Toys I want.

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N. Here are the actors that play the apes acting in a scene. This is amazing and what makes it seem real. Other CGI movies need to copy this film on how to make CGI characters believable and real.

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O. Gary Oldman had the best line in the movie, “are you fucking kidding me”.

P. In the film when the power comes back on at a gas station they played “The Weight” by The Band. But they should have played TLC’s “Waterfalls” not some tired 60’s jam nobody wants to hear not even those monkeys. Or maybe “No Scrubs”.

Q. Jason Clarke who plays Malcolm will also be playing John Connor in the new Terminator: Genesis movie.

R. Monkey Poll

S. This Poster is amazing.

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Ape Shit!

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One response to ““Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” or “I LOVE THESE MONKEYS BITCH” my fuckin review

  1. Pingback: My Top Ten Movies of 2014 You Bitch! | EDDIE RAY BREAKS THAT SHIT DOWN!

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