“Annabelle” or “White People Buy A Demon Doll And Get Fucked By It” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Annabelle“. Okay so this is a prequel to “The Conjuring“, which I loved. That film is based on a true story, this prequel is not. Which kinda sucks, but whatever. Okay so the film starts off with this white couple that is happily married, go to church, and have a baby. Their neighbor’s daughter is in a Manson (Charles) type cult and comes home for revenge one night, but dies in the white couples house. After she dies her satanic spirit jumps its ass into the doll.  The girl’s name is Annabelle and so is the dolls now. Then shit starts to pop off,  no literally the jiffy pop popcorn almost burns their crib down. So they say “fuck it” and move out and go to live in an apartment building. There more shit breaks off and Annabelle is pissed. Now there is a big ass demon running around licking ass and taking names. Then the mom who looks like Quinn Fabray from “Glee“, but is not , but should have been her, makes friends with Alfre Woodard. Afre knows about demons and shit. Meanwhile this priest is driving Annabelle around for snacks. In the end white people live in happiness at the expense (life) of an African-American woman. Think the horror version of the movie “THE HELP”. So yeah I mean this ain’t no “The Conjuring”. It’s not a “True” story and the story the made up is slow, boring and racist. So if you love “The Conjuring” and “Insidious” you will probably not like this movie. Yes, there are a couple of cool scares in it. The demon running around is spooky dookie for sure, but he is it. Wait tip Netflix to watch this movie.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. In the Annabelle true story, the real Annabelle doll was given as a birthday present by a mother to her daughter, Donna, a nursing student who was turning 28. Donna’s mother purchased the antique Raggedy Ann Doll from a hobby store in 1970. The Annabelle movie focuses on the vintage doll’s existence prior to Donna’s mother purchasing it second-hand at the hobby store, offering a fictional account of how the demon could have entered the doll.

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Fake doll/ Real doll

B. I’m not ending my life so that a white couple with a baby can be happy. Fuck them and you and that demon. I would just leave. Alfre only knew them for a goddamn week. Shut the fuck up! The audience booed when that shit happened.

C. This doll ain’t scary to me. The real “Raggedy Ann” doll is scary as shit.

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D. Lorraine Warren is a hero to us all. Here she is hanging with the REAL Annabelle.

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E. If you buy an ugly ass doll it is probably haunted.

F. Annabelle looks like Glen from the movie “Seed of Chucky“. Glenn is Chucky’s son. I love Glen.

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Glen/Glenda on left. Annabelle on right.

G. Lock your doors and keep holy water handy. Just in your life period. I do.

H. Joseph Bishara played the demonic figure which is scary. He also played the Lipstick-Face Demon in “Insidious” and Bathsheba in “The Conjuring“. Also he composed this movies score as well as the films “Insidious” and “The Conjuring”. He scores are creepy as fuck and I dig them all.

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I. Me and Isaac wearing Annabelle masks.

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J. This movie was directed by John R. Leonetti (Mortal Kombat: AnnihilationThe Butterfly Effect 2). Both of those films are a mess.

K. Quinn Fabray from “Glee”- IS NOT in this movie!

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Quinn Fabray from “Glee”- NOT in the movie!
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This FAKE Quinn Fabray that is in the movie!

L. The poster. It’s cute.

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