“Kingsman: The Secret Service” or “A Chav James Bond” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Kingsman: The Secret Service“. Okay so the film starts off with a group of older spies called “THE KINGSMAN”. They are all hard-core ass kickers but one dies trying to save the rest. Colin Firth is one of those spies and has to go to tell the dead spies wife and kid that their husband/dad is dead. Being a spy is fucked up. Cut to years later and that kid Eggsy (Taron Egerton) is all grown up and is a Chav and living bootleg in the ghetto. Colin finds him and sees that his ass has potential to become a super spy. Meanwhile Samuel L. Jackson is a bad guy trying to fuck the world up with a girl with knives for legs. Later Eggsy is in spy training school with other possible future spies. In the end shit hits the fan and the world is about to get janked up. Okay I dug this movie a lot. It’s action packed and a lot of fun. It’s smart ass, vulgar and over-the-top. Basically everything I want to see in a film. There is even a line that is said to Eggsy from a Princess that he is saving that goes something like “If you save the world I will let you put in my asshole”.  Haha that’s amazing. At one point people are beating the shit out of each other and that is incredible too. There are even heads that explode so I was happy watching this movie. Honestly it gave me what I needed in a movie. Spies, Chavs, gadgets, violence and cursing. I was sold. So if you love James Bond, action, comedy, fight scenes, gadgets, and fun over-the-top characters then this is the movie for you. I loved it. It was a lot of fun to watch. I will buy this bitch on Blu Ray!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Colin Firth was great as spy and whipped everyone’s ass in this movie. His best scene was a giant fight in a church with racists homophobes.

The Secret Service KSS_JB_D01_00106.tif

B. Samuel L. Jackson was amazing as a bad guy and he made sense.

They played this song. I love it.

KC & The Sunshine Band – Give It Up

and this song

Dire Straits – Money For Nothing

C. Taron Egerton as Eggsy was believable and real. A Chavy spy makes sense and is vulgar and violent. He was great. He will surely pop in many movies to come.

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D. Matthew Vaughn (X-Men: First ClassKick-Ass) really is a fun director and I have enjoyed his films. I love his humor, violence and vulgarity. Keep making rated R films! If you are offended by his films then you are  goddamn boring ass nerd that needs to stay home. It’s 2015 grow up bitch!

E. Sofia Boutella ummmmmmm she is amazing and will cut your goddamn head off.

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F. Henry Jackman composed the score (Kick-AssX-Men: First ClassThis Is the EndCaptain America: The Winter SoldierBig Hero 6The Interview). He has been making a name for himself over the last few years. Listen here

G. In the film they mentioned that there are a lot of “JB” spy names. James Bond, Jason Bourne, and Jack Bauer. Interesting.

H. CHAV-  The word was popularised in the first decade of the 21st century by the British mass media to refer to an anti-social youth subculture in the United Kingdom.

I. THIS POSTER IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT. It’s very “For Your Eyes Only“.

Screen Shot 2014-12-03 at 12.59.23

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