“Tomorrowland” or “George Clooney Goes to Magic Land” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Tomorrowland“. Okay so Tomorrowland starts off in the 6o’s and George Clooney is young and hopeful at the World’s Fair. There he gets a fancy pin that invites him to the magical future/alt reality of Tomorrowland. A place where scientists, inventors, robots, and elitists live. It’s like a Utopia set up by a white people who think they can better the world. Think Portland. Now cut to today. The world is a mess, I guess? Now people know more about Pollution, there is an African-American President, Women’s rights, Gay rights, Transgender rights, a Woman is running for President, equal rights in general, etc. Wow what a mess. Wait a minute. It seems a lot better to me now than in the 60s? I’m confused? YES, the world is better now, well unless you’re a straight white racist male. Then it’s hell on Earth. Am I a right kids?

Anyway this young girl named Casey Newton gets a another fancy pin to Tomorrowland and goes on an adventure to try to find out how to get there, she runs into crazy ass robots, and a helpful young robot girl named Athena. I liked her and she was fun. Then she teams up with a now grown up George Clooney who helps her get to Tomorrowland. Now Tomorrowland is not what she thought it would be and there she learns a weird sort of Coca-Cola commercial message about the world ending. It’s about if we (the audience) would have kept dreaming the way we did in the 60’s the world would have been better today in 2015. HUH? What now? Wait a minute? I’m literally confused. Honestly I was having Disney PG fun on this adventure the entire movie. I was having a good time watching it and I was on board this Disney fuckin ride. Then we took a weird confusing left turn. So wait, run that by me again. We ruined the world because we don’t dream like we did in the 60’s, so that’s why we fucked up the Earth. Now it’s an apocalypse? Ummmmmmmm I know this. Tomorrowland don’t want me in it. Because I curse a lot, and can be vulgar, and I like trashy things. That’s just the start. I feel like people did keep dreaming or hoping or trying or whatever because the world is better today. So I’m glad we ruined the world? I’m confused. The writer of the TV shows “Lost” wrote this movie so this all makes sense to me now. You made a cool ride then that shit derails at the end. You will have fun watching it, then at the end you will be lost and will get mixed messages. I’m not a fan of the 60’s because I was not born then I guess. Yes it was a simpler time, but I’m not simple bitch. I really do like Britt Robertson (Casey) in this movie. She is fun and seems real to me. I want to see her in other shit. George Clooney is always entertaining in anything. I guess this kind of safe, clean, weird, white, happy future just doesn’t make sense anymore. I kept calling it “Magic Land” not “Tomorrowand” because it’s not the future. It’s magic, because it’s not real. So if you believe in magic, Disney, are white, PG, think America is a nightmare in 2015, are racist, wish for a brighter/whiter tomorrow, love George Clooney then this movie is for you. Wait for Netflix.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Directed by Brad Bird (The Iron GiantThe IncrediblesRatatouille). All great animated movies. 

B.  I like Britt Robertson a lot. She seems real and believable. Maybe because she was in Scream 4. She is cool in this movie.

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Dead in Scream 4

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C. This movie was written by Damon Lindelof who also wrote the Lost TV series, PrometheusStar Trek Into DarknessWorld War Z, and The Leftovers. Do you see a theme here. Cool ideas but in the end Womp Womp. 

D. Tomorrowland looked a little to clean and PG for me. I assume they would kick me out for being to vulgar or whatever. The ride Tomorrowland was made in the 50’s and it was a 50’s perception of the future. So that was a little too white, clean, straight, etc. for me. Haha. That’s why I call that shit Magic Land. Because it is not the future, it’s not real. But a bitch can dream I guess. Haha

E. George Clooney is entertaining in anything. His best role was in The Facts of Life.

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F. Michael Giacchino (Jurassic WorldSuper 8LostLet Me InAliasDawn of the Planet of the Apescomposed the score. It really is amazing. I love it.

Listen this track I love it.

G. The toys for this movie look like shit dogs. I mean for fucks sakes try a little harder.

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H. Haha his poster is terrible. Is this for kids to put on their fuckin walls? I would be terrified.

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