“Ant-Man” or “Honey I Shrunk Paul Rudd’s Dick” My fuckin review

Here is my review for “Ant-Man“. Okay so here is another Marvel movie. There are a shitload now and they all connect, so good luck. Okay this film starts off with Paul Rudd in jail because he is criminal, but a good criminal. He is best friends with Michael Peña who is a funny criminal. They are trying to go on the straight and narrow but Michael Douglas shows up and he is scientist who can shrink shit. Michael hires or blackmails Paul Rudd to become Ant-Man, a new superhero who can shrink down to the size of an ant and also has super strength like an ant. He can also talk to ants. I don’t care to ever talk to ants. Michael Douglas’s daughter is Kate from the TV show’s Lost and she wants to be Ant Girl, but it’s too soon for all that shit. Now there is a bad Scientist on the loose named WASP who can also shrink too. So Ant-Man has to go shut that shit down. There is a lot of flying around on ants and falling down drain pipes, etc. In the end Thomas the train shows up to shut it all the fuck down. Okay I enjoyed this film. It was fun and in a weird way quiet. Quiet compared to most the Marvel movies that are like 2 hours of buildings and robots smashing the fuck out of each other. This one is more laid back and more approachable, like an interesting date. Will you fall in love with this date? No, but you will have a good time. They won’t put out, but you will get a blow job. Paul Rudd is always fun, entertaining and seems like your best friend, brother, boyfriend, etc. You love him in anything cuz he is real. When his ass shrinks and he is riding ants it’s cool because you have never seen that shit before. Well maybe in “”. It was in 3D so you felt like you were on the back of those bitches flying through the city. There was even a fight scene inside a brief case. You don’t see that shit ever. Michael Peña plays well off of Paul Rudd and they make a good comedy duo and I hope he becomes the Bee Daddy or some shit in part 2. Kate’s, from TV show’s Lost,  hair was terrible and I thought it was supposed to be a joke that would be revealed later. It did not. The joke was on me when I threw up. So if you love Marvel, Heist films, Paul Rudd, Ants, Small shit, bad hair cuts from 1996, and Michael D. then this is for you. I had fun watching it. Check it out. You will probably like it too.

The Trailer:

The Facts Bitch:

A. Paul Rudd was great and fun-loving as always as Ant-bitch.

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His best role was in “Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers” as Tommy Doyle

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B. I don’t know if ants are cute. I would step on them.

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C. The best part was is when Michael Douglas‘s wife shows up and it’s Sharon Stone. WOW! #TBT

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D. Directed by Peyton Reed (Back to the Future -TV Series, The Weird Al Show – TV Series, Bring It OnNew Girl -TV Series). I guess you can make it.

E. Evangeline Lilly was in this and I literally didn’t know this was her/Kate from the TV show Lost until the end of the movie. Also her hair was terrible. I would have wished ants to take away that 1996 Drew Barrymore wig from the movie Scream off her head and kill that shit.

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F. The music was composed by Christophe Beck (Buffy the Vampire SlayerAngelBring It OnLet’s Be Cops). Take a listen to the main theme. I like it because it sounds like a heist/mystery movie instead of a superhero movie. Usually Marvel score is pretty generic. So this is cute.

G. More Judy Greer aka FERN FUCKIN MAYO!

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H. Michael Peña is funny and he should have been in it more and a superhero. 

I. The best thing about this movie was how the Digital Assets were managed by Max Fisher. Here he is at Jurassic Park.

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J. Thomas the Tank/ Train was in this. He was hot as fuck.

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K. I love the posters for this movie. I don’t know which ones are real.

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