“Krampus” or “A Merry Horror Heart Warming Christmas”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Krampus“.  Okay this film is from the Writer and Director of “Trick ‘r Treat” (Michael Dougherty). Which is a film I love the fuck out of. Okay so this film takes place during Christmas and it involves this family (Adam ScottToni ColletteStefania LaVie Owen and Emjay Anthony) getting ready for their terrible relatives to come stay with them for the holidays. There is a little boy named Max who still believes in Christmas and the season etc, until the relatives come and read his heart-felt letter he has written to Santa and they embarrass his ass in front of everyone. Now Max is pissed and says fuck everyone and Christmas and rips up the letter and throws that shit out the window. Here comes Krampus! A winter storm comes bringing Krampus, evil toys and evil elves with it. Krampus intends to fuck that whole family and neighborhood up because Max has lost the Christmas spirit. Yes, it’s a horror movie so people get got bitch. The shit hits the fan and the family boards up the house “Night of the Living Dead” style and try to fight off all the evil toys and even pissed off gingerbread cookies. In the end Max ends up at weird ass Pagan festival with Krampus tossing bitches into hell and does anyone learn the true meaning of Christmas. Haha Maybe……….. This movie is great and I loved it. It’s a lot of fun and it’s a new Christmas classic. Where can I buy the evil toys??? Think Christmas Vacation meets Gremlins meets A Christmas Carol meets Night of the Living Dead all rolled up into one movie. So If you love all those movies then you will enjoy this one too. Honestly this movie gave me what I wanted and needed. Even the letter that Max wrote for Santa felt real to me and sad. It reminded me of my family and their bullshit. The way Krampus looked was amazing and creepy as fuck and I hope people start dressing like that version for Christmas. There is even an animated flashback about Krampus that I loved as well. Even in the end you think it might get cheesy or hokey but never does. It stays creepy the whole time and makes you want to keep the spirit of Christmas up the whole season and not take things for granted in your own life. Even if your family sucks dicks. You can tell Dougherty genuinely loves theses holidays and the characters in his films. Which makes you love them all too. I also hope they make a sequel to this shit too. So if you love Horror and Christmas then this is the movie for you. There are so many few great horror Christmas movies. I have seen it twice at the theater and I will be buying it when it coming out on blu ray. Go see this movie now.

The Trailer:

The facts:

A. Michael Dougherty you are giving me what I need in movies! Thanks bitch! He used to make artwork years before making these movies. His ass sent me an ornament years ago bitch! We used to chat here and there about movies.  Here is a pic of my X-mas decoration he sent. 

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Here is a pic of him.

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B. I love this monster Teddy Bear! Where can I buy this shit!

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C. Toni Collette and Adam Scott are great in this movie. Toni was also in another horror movie, The Sixth Sense. Adam was in another horror movie also, Hellraiser: Bloodline!

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Adam in Hellraiser 4

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D. How do I get one of these Krampus bells!!!!!!

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E. There is some amazing imagery in this movie. Snowmen, elves, toys, Krampus, Pagan parties, etc.

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F. I mean look at this evil toy. This shit ain’t CGI.

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G. Emjay Anthony was great in this movie and sold all his scenes. I believed his sadness bitch!

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H. Douglas Pipes composed the score for this film and it’s great. He also did the score for Trick ‘r Treat and Monster House. Here is a sample from Krampus. 

I. Trick ‘r Treat 2 is on the way! YES!

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J. Also they played Bing Crosby. I love Bing Crosby during Xmas!!!!!!!!!

K. The scariest part is when they showed someones phone at 1%. I screamed. True horror!

8340707081_2970f11f31_zL. This poster is amazing.  I want it.

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